M26, F31 – confusing breakup

Greetings everyone,

I have met my girlfriend at workplace. She has been in a relationship, we were dating and she was trying to leave the boyfriend for almost 6 months till we finally moved together. Need to say that she broke up with him multiple times and then eventually always came back to him. I know it took her so long to move out from him.

In September we started to live with each other, it was awesome. She loved my family and vice versa. We had so much in common. She said I am the first guy (of many she had, always for like 7 months) that she can imagine to have a family with.

There was this problem – we are all doctors and she was working at the same workspace as my other ex who is high-ranking. To keep things down and somehow protect my gf, I told my ex I am not dating my new gf. Month later, my gf breached to my phone and saw the messages, started a fight but got over with it. I made some changes, came out with truth.

In January we went to our first holiday, relationships at the workplace were very tight, so I rather told my abusive ex (which I have to be in contact due to the work) that I am going there with my friend. Later I confessed with it to my gf, she was mad, but we got over it. Later on she quit the job due to the relationships there and got a new great job (it was her part-time).

Months went by great, sex was great, everything was so nice. We were loving each other. In April, my gf started to be very suspicious, stopped having sex with me. Was all the time talking about those things I did and why I didn’t stand for her. To be clear, it’s a highly hiearchical structure and from my point there was nothing to do.

She began to be more on her phone, then we went for vacation, once again, she was so happy. Once we got back to everyday life, she was so unconnected from me. Started to see a therapist. In May, she said its bad and she thinks we won’t make it. To clear things out I mean it with her, I quit my job as well and found a new one. She said that her trust is so breached she knows it can’t be fixed. I did everything I could do show her I am a good man. During our talks she admitted I am a great man, best she ever met but claimed that “when she develops a block, there is no way back”.

After two weeks of some talks, me being absolutely patient and understanding she told me she doesn’t have an energy to continue and wants to be alone. She was talking so cold. I packed some of my stuff and left. She suddenly started to cry, hug me, kiss me and thank me for everything and claim that she doesn’t deserve a family.

Next day, I left flowers and a letter there. Day later she wrote me that she is very confused and sad and that she thinks of me and hopes I am holding on. I answered that I am here for her.

On Friday, I left her family ring that I got her repaired at the flat with a letter. Two days later she wrote a cold text that she doesn’t change her decision even though it hurts her and she likes me and she wants me to remove my stuff. She propposed to see each other in some future.

I am very confused of the situation. I know she was detached from me for the last month, she started to text with some guy. When I asked her, she said its her friend and there is nothing to worry about. I noticed her contact photo – them in a bed. When I asked her, she said its history and she didnt want to tell me because it doesnt mean anything.

I know a screwed up and she lost some trust in me. But I clearly showed her that she can trust me and I am willing to put all the work. She’s been so insecure her entire life, tends to get back into her relationships after breakups.

We were so compatible, I know what we told each other. You meet this type of woman once. And I have this inner gut feeling that one day she is going to try it with me again.

How do you guys understand the situation? What can I expect? Feel free to ask for more info. Thanks!

PS: Interesting I am not that sad due to the inner gut feeling..but of course I cried and last two weeks was very needy. Also I went for some stuff today and she started to drink pretty much and apparently cries a lot (napkins everywhere).