How did you stop thinking about people you’ve cut off your life recently?

14 comments

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2. I lack some object permanence with people so if we don’t talk regularly I forget they exist. That makes cutting people off real easy, I just forget they exist after a couple weeks.

3. I just keep busy and remind myself why I had to cut them out in the first place.

   Recently cut out a guy I *really* liked because he was very dismissive of my feelings. He jumped right into being defensive and calling me “crazy” and “psycho” just because I wanted some reassurance. All he did was solidify what I was worried about (he didn’t genuinely care) and that was enough for me.

4. It helps to cut off communication – removed/blocked from your phone contacts, social media etc. It helps more to start purposefully spending your time and energy in fresh new ways too – something new to learn, a hobby group to join, other friends to get to know or grow closer with.

5. Every time you think about them, remind yourself why you cut them off. It’s going to take a bit of time, but your brain will soon enough link the two and the thought process will become automatic.

6. I don’t stop thinking about them, generally. I just know that there is no healthy relationship to be had and that is enough. Treasure the good and try to eventually learn from the bad.

7. I began to think in terms of the value add in my life by letting them stay.
   Do I get to learn anything from them?
   Are they good for my mental health ?
   Are they supportive ?
   Are they judgemental ?
   Are they gossipmongers ?
   Do they depleting my energy after every interaction?

   Once I sorted the answers to these questions, it was an easy decision from there. It’s your life. You decide who stays and whom u should let go of. Some ppl you meet are there to teach you a very costly lesson.

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9. I think about how proud of myself I am for setting boundaries and standards that I probably wouldn’t have a few years ago.

10. Put an elastic band around your wrist and every time you think about them, snap that band HARD.

    Sometimes you just gotta Pavlov yourself out of bullshit.

11. By focusing on myself, going to the gym and trying to eat more healthy

12. Thinking back on what I deserve. By that I mean, yes, memories with them might be great but if they truly valued and appreciate me, they wouldn’t have done something that made me went to an extreme.

    So the fact that they have been cut off means that something they have done must have been so severe and hurtful that I would rather end it than imagine continuing with it.

13. Give it a little bit of time.

    For me personally, I drag things out and try my hardest to make something work before I cut it off, so maybe that is why when I cut things off I get over it relatively quickly.

    But if they come into my brain again- just focus on the negative moments you had with them that led you to cutting them off.

14. I cut off my best friend of 30 years for being incredibly selfish all the time. I think of her when something big and positive happens in my life. Not that she would be genuinely happy for me. Her character wouldn’t allow it. I don’t know why I let it go on for so long.