Sorry that this is so long, it’s a complicated situation.
I, along with 3 other people, have been friends with this one person (call him John), since our first year of college. We all quickly became very close and would hang out all the time. John was particularly close with myself and another one of the three people (call her Amy). We’ve been friends for almost 4 years now and currently all live together in the same apartment.
John and I were very close at one point and would talk/text almost every day. He was just as close to Amy. In addition, we would all hang out all the time and go out regularly. He, along with the rest of them, quickly became some of my closest friends.
However, this past December, we all went home from winter break and I didn’t hear from John for about a month. I would text him and get a one word reply. I’m not particularly a high maintenance friend, but I did become concerned when we went from talking everyday to barely hearing anything. We eventually all move back to our apartment and he’s incredibly distant and starts hanging out with a new group of friends. He repeatedly cancels plans with us to hang out with them. I eventually ask him if we did something to upset him, but he says we did not and he’s just been trying to expand his circle. During this conversation he does admit that he’s been distant from us and says he will go out with us the coming weekend when another one of our close friends was coming into town.
The weekend comes and we don’t hear a peep from John. He leaves home before our friend arrives and says nothing. We text him and he says he’s going out with his other friends instead. The next morning, he sees our out of town friend and doesn’t say a word and just leaves to hang out with his other friends. We confront him about this and he becomes very hostile and walks away. We eventually have another conversation and are supposedly on good terms. Since this interaction, he has consistently given dumb excuses for not going out with us, cancelled plans last minute, or sometimes simply not show up for plans we’ve made with him.
I’ve personally reached a point where I believe he simply doesn’t want to be friends with us and would rather be friends with his other group. Am I being to harsh with this assumption? I hesitate to cut ties with someone I’ve grown so close to, but every time I try to talk to him about it he says that we are overreacting. However, his actions are sending a very different message. Any advice?