How to stop getting attached quickly?

5 comments

1. – Have many options so you never really focus on one person who might give you attention.
   – Only give as much attention as you receive, not more.
   – Keep busy, if you don’t have many other options to distract yourself with, fill the time with hobbies. The more time you spend thinking of them, the more attached you will get.
   – Not everyone you like will like you back and that’s okay. Sometimes you lose someone to get someone better down the line.

2. I’m literally in the exact same boat as you. The crappy truth is that you just have to have multiple options

3. Talk to a variety of people to get a feel for who’s actually reciprocating your same time, effort, and energy.
   It’s easy to get excited about a good convo or things in common when your only talking to one person.
   When you engage with multiple people it kind of gets you out of tunnel vision.
   From there your able to better see who’s actually worth your emotional attachment and who’s not.

4. I’m experiencing the same thing. The first guy I talked to felt so special and we had so much in common, but it set myself up way too much for hurt because he’s emotionally unavailable.
   I went back on a dating app and started talking to other people, and forcing myself to stop caring too much about the guy. I’m still working on it but I think after I met other ‘options’ that actually give me a response, I don’t feel as hung up on that one guy.

5. I’m 22m and used to be in your position. A lot of people give advice to have a lot of options, and that just doesn’t work for me because I hate talking to multiple people at once, I like to focus on one at a time. Strangely, what has helped with me not getting attached quickly is getting my heart broken many times. Every break up/failed talking stage just made me more used to it that it started to get easier to handle and it made me realize that there isn’t a reason to get so attached to one person, because there is always going to be someone else after them. I hopped on dating apps and started going on plenty of dates, many great ones and many terrible ones until I just started to not overthink it so much and just went into them with the thought that I’m just meeting a normal person and whatever happens, happens, just get to know them as you would with a friend and don’t lose focus of your personal life/hobbies, just use the new person as an addition to your life and don’t revolve your world around them. With these many dates is when I got relationships since it’s a numbers game, and then some hard break ups.