for example, like how she would “die for you,” but she never took the time to understand you or to emotionally support you like you wanted. or you were just plain incompatible as people

6 comments

  1. I moved as far away from her as possible. I’m doing my best to do better for my own kids.

  2. keep the relationship on a professional level, she’s the carer you’re the caree, don’t get too attached but maintain good distance and friendliness.

  4. Well I don’t really like her either, so I just don’t make it a priority to chat with her or call her the way my friends do with their moms.

  5. My mom grew up with a lot of childhood trauma and loss. Her mother had early onset dementia, and her father who died shortly after her marriage to my dad. To add to that, my dads family didn’t really get along with her and she developed this really defensive personality before I was even born.

    Growing up with her was like having a super anxious best friend that you have to reassure and tiptoe around constantly. I felt overwhelming guilt any time I spent time with cousins or extended family she didn’t particularly like. She holds grudges and avoids confrontation like the plague. Whenever I was upset about something she’d compare it to the suffering of jesus on the cross and say “see? its not so bad that you were cheated on and dumped” she was also very bad at asking me questions like “are you sure you aren’t just reading into his behaviour?” or “you must have done something to upset him…” which left me feeling very lonely and confused. I don’t think she ever had bad intentions, but she just struggled to be close with me.

    When I left their fundy church, it seemed like it was very easy for her to cut me off and pretend I was dead. On the one occasion I saw her (in passing) after I left the church… she looked at me with his deep loathing that I don’t think I can ever forget. If she had a thought bubble over her head it would say “TRAITOR”.

    While I know my mom loved me as her little girl, she loathes me as her adult daughter.

  6. We have buried the hatchet now. It took me being a mother to finally have her respect me. But as others have said, I ran from home as soon as I could. I still suffer from imposter syndrome and can’t take a compliment but I’m better. She is apologetic for how she was. My mom grew up in another country and was basically raised by the Bible that taught her to hit her children and to only supply us the things we needed to grow like a roof over our heads and food but not emotional support or words or affirmation

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