Obligatory posting on phone, blah blah.
Hubby is depressed I think. Has been for years. I’ve been trying to help him for about 8 years. I’ve tried talking, mindfulness retreats – (together and apart), setting up coaching, holidays (just him and me), quality time, everything I can think of. But it’s never been enough, or the right thing.
Had a huge accident on Good Friday, shattered his shoulder and is now basically incapacitated. Who knows if he’ll recover, or if he does, how far back to ‘normal’ he’ll get.
Add into the mix 4 kids (10-15), and a business. Last year was particularly rough with deaths in my family, Covid and the business that pays the mortgage nearly failing.
Finally set up therapy for him, and just told him he’s going. (On the advice of the therapist). Also gave him a letter saying I’m not sure I want to be married anymore.
He’s trying to do what I asked, but I just feel apathetic about his efforts, or at worst angry with him when he tries.
Has anyone recovered from this? I feel pretty hopeless about it all atm.
3 comments
You can come back from betrayal…
You don’t need to be quiet and you need family to help… If they can’t help then they aren’t family and boundaries need to be in place.
He has to get the help and do it… His demons are winning within
He is sick and broken
When you start seeing him do the work it will become easier to trust him again and to not resent him so much… Once he starts getting better you need therapy as well
So for his depression did you actually get him to someone and see about medication for his depression?
So he is mentally and physically sick and you’ve had enough?
Sounds you are already checked out. Focus on being there for your kids and making sure their needs are met. Ask for outside help for your family and for yourself. When things stabilize, you can talk to a lawyer. Your relationship doesn’t deserve any of your mental resources right now.