23M. Recently realised that the girl I love will never like me back, have been friends with year for over a year and lived together for a spell so you can imagine how it was possible that I caught such intense feelings. I expressed my interest twice and was rejected, which I have now accepted and have taken a step back from our friendship. Issue is I’m not interested in dating anyone else because of these feelings and have only slept with three girls since these feelings started. All the girls who are interested are boring and no one I meet or have met before come anything close to the way I feel about her. I am fed up and done with love if the girl I love doesn’t see me that way, I don’t intend to just settle for girls I don’t have that connection like others do and I can’t force feelings when I still love someone else. It just sucks that I’ve lost at love and I’m depressed as a result. My friends are like you’re a good looking social guy why don’t you get in to dating others but they don’t understand. It’s just sad to know I’ve missed out where everyone else around me seems happy in their couples, guess we don’t all win at life. I hope some of you can relate. I feel like Snape in Harry Potter (without the being an asshole to kids bit ahah)
6 comments
Perhaps think about what is this connection you have with her that other girls don’t? Is it physical or intellectual connection?
You say you took a step back but have you gone completely no contact? Same thing happened to me got rejected by a friend and had to go no contact. Helped me move on and realize the friendship was not even a good one I just put her on a pedestal and was blind to the way she treated me.
Spend some time trying to be happy in your own presence and let these thoughts about the other girl subside before trying to date again seriously.
damn, it’s like i wrote this post today. i feel you so much man.
You’ll move on but the smart thing to do would be never date again. Women are all the same anyway. They’ll all just hold you back or hold you down.
You’re still so young. But I do agree with you that most girls nowadays are boring..although there are the rare few out there. Idk what your thoughts are on casual dating, but maybe trying that for awhile while you focus on moving on from this girl can still keep you trying for that connection. Try to see what you like about her and think about when you’re out with other girls.
Let’s say for example she tells funny jokes that make you laugh? If you find a girl who’s genuinely funny and makes you laugh and smile, that’s one step in the right direction.
I won’t lie to you though, it does take time..and it might suck for awhile. But you have to discipline yourself into trying to find a real connection with someone who likes you and you reciprocate those feelings.
I will tell you I have loved and greatly liked men who did not want me. I get it. It’s hard, feeling like the thing you are looking for does not see that in you….
But you can find another. You can
Eventually you will find what you want in one who wants you back. The best thing you can do is be ready. Be healthy, mentally and physically, financially and emotionally. So that when you find them, you can keep them