Hi, so my bf and I have been dating for 2 months now and we haven’t had sex yet, initally we he first indicated to have sex I wasn’t sure so i denied and since then he had not made any moves or such thing, been very supportive.
Now I think I’m ready to take our relationship to next level but I’m very nervous and shy to tell him this. How do I approach him?
28 comments
I’d say, next time you’re close and alone, start with some non verbal cues and then speak to him about it.
Just start going down on him. He’ll get the picture
Tell him what you want
Try I’m ready to have sex with you now. Let me know how it goes.
Walk in naked. I’m sure that let him get the hint.
“Hey do you want to fuck?”
Touch ya bois thigh and get to the stuff, if dude is still perplexed just get naked or something lol, aint as difficult as you think!
When participating in a heavy make out session, ask him if he’d want to move to the bedroom.
If you’d like to be more formal, you can bring up your interest in having sex with him.
No, don’t give him ‘signs and clues’. No matter how clear they are you already VERBALIZED you wanted to wait, so you now have to verbalize that you want to do it.
Everyone is talking about how important it is to respect boundaries. You already set a boundary and if u wanna lift it you need to tell him, not expect him to guess that you changed your mind.
“Hey, I’m ready to ride your dick like a bucking bronco” that should do the trick
“I’m ready”
Jesus, don’t over think this.
“Years ago, I was backpacking across Western Europe…”
Communiciation is key but you’re too shy to say the words.
There are other ways of communication. Write him a letter. Text him a nude. Undress him when he comes over and say “Maybe we can take this to the bedroom tonight”. Spell out SEX is with linear pretzels or somehing. When you have the time, start cuddling him and put your hand down his pants and whisper “I’m so horny right now.” Or say “How about we take our relationship to the next level” and take his hand and walk him to the bedroom. You could even text him “Hey, I’m too embarrased to say this to your face, but tonight we are fucking. Go get condoms and lube” and he’ll come over super excited.
There are literally more than a 100 ways to communicate that you want to have sex. Just choose one. If you drop subtle hints, there is a VERY big chance that they go over his head because we guys are very dumb. We need to be told very overtly.
Tell him to buy condoms.
Next time you have some downtime together, tell him you feel more ready to step in that direction. Tell him you need to go slow – you may be feeling really good and safe with him, but it doesn’t have to happen today or tomorrow… It’s okay to stop him at any point and to take the time you need to get to a point where you want it unequivocally! I waited till I was 100% ready, and it was pure bliss! My sweetie waited much longer for me, probably should have married him, those kind of guys are so hard to find!
Just remember to keep some communication going throughout and you can call on his masculinity by reminding him how much you appreciate his respect of your boundaries, how safe it makes you feel (if it does, or whatever warmth you feel from him, tell him) and that you are ready to slowly, carefully push past your old boundaries to explore new ones, with his help. Thats all it is, an exploration- and there is no right or wrong answer, just check in with your gut instincts. You can give him a sense of mutual exploration in it by empowering him to make it about your pleasure the first time; he will get his pleasure after you’ve safely entered the arena, so to speak! Hopefully, he’s already of that mindset, sounds like he may be.
Snu Snu ?
Touch his pp
Communicate.
Literally say “hey baby I want le sex”
And I guarantee he’ll strip quick
“I’m approaching you with romantic intent.” Hank Hill
Start making out and and removing clothes.
You need to be explicit and tell him what you want at this point. You can find your own way to do it. You can either be blunt or set the mood and be romantic about it but you need to vocalize that you want to have sex.
If I had a partner vocalize that they didn’t want to have sex with me right now. I would respect those words no matter what signals she gave me. heck, she could walk into the room completely naked and make out with me and I still will respect that boundary because explicitly said to me that she didn’t want sex right now.
In any relationship, it is up to the person who set the boundary to communicate if a boundary is removed. I don’t like playing guessing games no matter how insignificant the amount of riks or how clear the signals are. In my opinion, it is about respecting the wishes of your partner no matter what may be going on in their mind.
I once pursued a woman who told me she didn’t want to have sex yet. Trying to be respectful I didn’t initiate ever again. We went on several dates but nothing happened. She told me a few years later she was trying her hardest to get me to have sex with her and listed all the hints she dropped. I saw them but I ignored them because she had used her words and I believed her and I didn’t want to pressure her. If she’d used her words instead of hints she’d have gotten what she wanted.
let me summarize for you.
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no games no guessing no hints. You said to wait so any and all signals you COULD give would not be. I want sex. It would be just flirting at best based on what you have said.
So basically come out and say it, say youd like to have sex.
“Hey wanna have sex?”
Just be direct. As a guy, I really don’t like it when girls beat around the bush or expect us to know what they want without telling us. So being direct is INCREDIBLY attractive and in general just aids in a relationship.
Even if I didn’t want to sleep with someone I’d really appreciate the fact that they just straight up asked.
I know it’s anxiety inducing but I guarantee he won’t be mad at you for asking nicely. And getting it out of the way instead of dragging it out rips off the band aid easier
It never fails:
When you’re getting into it, from kissing to getting hot and heavy, just straight up whisper in his ear when you know he’s turned on “I want you to fuck me”
Almost everytime a guy will think it’s hot and gives him the ok you are ready.
Grab him by his dick and say, you me bedroom now.
Or pull the naked man on him. Ain’t hard.
Don’t ask him. It’ll ruin the spontaneity. When you start making out just do what comes natural and don’t give into reservations. He’s a dude. Of course he wants to.
Give him a condom, the rest will naturally happen