He says he’s not ready for serious dating
I’m a (26F) and I’ve been dating a (27M) that I met through a dating app. He’s been single for 3 years. His ex was killed in a car crash. For the past month and we’ve been having amazing dates. He calls me everyday during the week to talk about his day and asks how my day went. When I call him he always picks up. I’ve dated men in the past who by this time already wanted to be in a relationship with me and they weren’t as attentive as he is. Which is why I’m confused when he says he’s not ready to start dating seriously when he told me eon the beginning he would like a gf to wake up to and come home to. He hates when I talk about the guys I used to date and other guys in general. He said it’s a major turn off for him and he doesn’t like it. I bought dating questions so we can ask each other and he got upset because the questions meant I had to talk about other guys and he didn’t want to hear it. He called me out before for when I was online in the dating website. His reasoning for why he was online is because he was reading the answers to the questions I’ve answered, it’s a feature part of the app. And when I brought up how he was right in not having a say in why I didn’t delete the app, I told him I would but didn’t do it right away, he got all sad and said that yeah, technically I can do whatever I want. That stung me because I know the same can be applied to him. I talked to him letting him know that that’s not what I meant. I mainly brought it up so I can confirm that I can’t do the same to him but to also see what he had to say about it. After talking it through he said serious or not he’s a one girl at a time type of guy and if he feels different about me he’ll let me know. I really like this guy and I was thinking if I can put in effort and make him see that in the future we can be together. I don’t know what to do. I love being in his company but I want to be taken seriously eventually, but I know some people need time and the way things ended with his ex is something hard to deal with. When we’re together he treats me so good. And he’s always talking about future dates with me. I don’t want my heartbroken.
Given how things ended with his ex is it normal that after 3 years he still isn’t ready for a serious relationship? Is this guy wasting my time till something better comes along?
He’s not ready for serious dating
I’m a (26F) and I’ve been dating a (27M) that I met through a dating app. He’s been single for 3 years. His ex was killed in a car crash. For the past month and we’ve been having amazing dates. He calls me everyday during the week to talk about his day and asks how my day went. When I call him he always picks up. I’ve dated men in the past who by this time already wanted to be in a relationship with me and they weren’t as attentive as he is. Which is why I’m confused when he says he’s not ready to start dating seriously when he told me eon the beginning he would like a gf to wake up to and come home to. He hates when I talk about the guys I used to date and other guys in general. He said it’s a major turn off for him and he doesn’t like it. I bought dating questions so we can ask each other and he got upset because the questions meant I had to talk about other guys and he didn’t want to hear it. He called me out before for when I was online in the dating website. His reasoning for why he was online is because he was reading the answers to the questions I’ve answered, it’s a feature part of the app. And when I brought up how he was right in not having a say in why I didn’t delete the app, I told him I would but didn’t do it right away, he got all sad and said that yeah, technically I can do whatever I want. That stung me because I know the same can be applied to him. I talked to him letting him know that that’s not what I meant. I mainly brought it up so I can confirm that I can’t do the same to him but to also see what he had to say about it. After talking it through he said serious or not he’s a one girl at a time type of guy and if he feels different about me he’ll let me know. I really like this guy and I was thinking if I can put in effort and make him see that in the future we can be together. I don’t know what to do. I love being in his company but I want to be taken seriously eventually, but I know some people need time and the way things ended with his ex is something hard to deal with. When we’re together he treats me so good. And he’s always talking about future dates with me. I don’t want my heartbroken.
Given how things ended with his ex is it normal that after 3 years he still isn’t ready for a serious relationship? Is this guy wasting my time till something better comes along?
3 comments
One month really isn’t that long of a time. But do be aware.
He is obviously enjoying the comfort you are providing. I dated my ex girlfriend for 6 months before I committed to a relationship. It wasn’t because I was still seeing other options, I knew I wanted her from the very beginning. It just takes some people longer to trust someone. Also it Must be a big step to start a new official relationship after losing an ex in such a tragic way.
I would say enjoy the time you guys spend together, it’s the beginning. As long as he continues the effort, I don’t see why you should be too worried.
Stop talking to other guys around him. I also don’t think he is taking you completely seriously. If you want to be in a relationship then you are wasting your time spending it with him cause he clearly isn’t sure about you.
Right now, you’re filling a void. Something he’s been missing. It doesn’t mean he wants a relationship… with you.
Umm, why are you talking about other guys to the guy you’re dating?? You realize that could be enough to turn him off you completely…
He’s let you know where you stand with him. He doesn’t want to date you seriously. Keep it casual, or let it go.