My girlfriend cheated on me
I’ve been with my girlfriend for 7 months and we are already expecting a baby and she is a little over three months pregnant. I’ve always had some trust issues with her as I have seen her interact with guys via Instagram but nothing crazy or flirty just comments on pictures and a DM here and there. I let that slide.
She was in a previous relationship before me for several years. She ended that relationship due to the guy being obsessed and toxic with her, this was two years back but he hasn’t let go since then and it seems she hasn’t either . Today I receive a message from her ex boyfriend saying that they were talking via email and phone 3/4 months back and that they also had sexual relations and to check if the baby is mine.
I completely flipped but I asked for evidence. He gave it to me. Emails upon emails of them interacting. I asked her and she denied it and when I showed her the emails she finally confessed.
I am conflicted. I have a baby on the way hoping it is mine because at this point my girlfriends ex has been more truthful to me than she has, as the emails he sent proved to be true and that they have seen each other in person as well but she does not confess to having sex with him.
She wants to work things out and says to give her another chance. She says it won’t happen again and she is sorry and feels mad at herself. I personally feel like she feels mad and sad at the fact that she got caught. I also feel like there is much more too it that she is not telling me.
I don’t know what to do at this point I love the girl but I have to have some self respect and not get taken advantage of. What makes it even harder is the child that is coming, she assures me it’s mine but I cannot be too sure at this point so I will do a DNA test. If it’s not mine then the answer is easy but if it is, how can I come to believe that nothing beside some emails and an in person friendly non sexual interaction was all that happened ? I can’t be sure that it won’t happen again but what argument can I make to myself besides the child on the way that I should take that risk and stay with her?
TL;DR
My girlfriend is 14 weeks pregnant and her ex boyfriend just messaged me saying they have been messaging each other around that time and showed me proof which she confirmed to be true. He also mentioned they it might be his baby and she denies it. I’m going to take DNA test and if the child is mine, is it idiotic to trust her again when she has lied to me so much?
7 comments
If the baby is yours then split custody or something. It’s never a good idea to date someone you can’t trust.
You can be parents without being together, but don’t make this decision without the DNA test.
I know you love her but trust me it’s better for you to leave this relationship. This isn’t just cheating, this is the *worst* form of cheating – an extended affair where she lied to your face probably hundreds of times.. while pregnant! She’s a selfish human being and if you stick around she will just continue to disrespect you harder and harder until one day it finally breaks you. It’s not possible to recover from because she’s gotten away with so much disrespect *to you* that she has no respect left *for you*.
Get out of the relationship and if that baby ends up being yours, and you want to be involved, then do so but without being in a relationship with the mom.
Whatever you do, DO NOT put your name on the birth certificate until you’ve had a DNA test done and you have proof that’s your child.
DNA test the baby, it it’s your step up and be a father but leave this woman.
If it’s not yours drop her like a hot bag of shit and never look back.
Get a DNA test first and foremost. You can get it done prior to birth so you know sooner rather than later.
Prepare to pay child support if it’s yours, and start thinking about whether you want to play an active role in your child’s life. But don’t get back with your ex.
DNA test ASAP. If it’s yours, you’ll need to decide if you want to talk to her about aborting or adopting it out. If she wants to keep the baby, get a lawyer.