I am in a bit of a rut. We both decided to take things slowly from the start but therefore idk if I am interested truely or not in continuing dating this person. If that helps I am 27f and he is 31.
Also we had a talk about doing it unprotected today (me wanting to get back on the pill). We had our 6th date. We kinda did an activity with different partners so in the end we had our real date at his and it led to the bed directly lol. We hadn’t seen each other in 2 weeks. Which makes me wonder if it was the right thing to do including that sexual exclusivity… But I feel like I can only “open up myself” this way, at least being exclusive this way. I legit don’t know if we are too fast in the sexual aspect and super slow in the emotional one. It’s confusing mixing the two.
I am starting to lose interest let’s say… because I see it as fwb situation now. Love develops over time but I feel like we are wasting each other’s time. Am I meant to feel butterflies ? Just feel good ? I take things as they are but how to keep this kind of “spark” ? Haha we didn’t even cuddle so I feel like he doesn’t care either.
I don’t feel safe enough because of how slow we are going like haha. We both seem bad at communicating when we both said communication was important haha. He also mentions his ex so many times it bothers me slightly. I would communicate how I feel, like it seems he isn’t over her but at the same time maybe it is his way to show it shaped him ?? I mean as much as I’d like to know about what shaped him and how I don’t want to have super long dates either and have everything out on the table yet, I don’t understand the whole situation.
I am trying to navigate through it. I’ve been out of 9 yrs relationship. I don’t want to feel as much intensity. I don’t feel ready to open up about it fully too. I just told him it has been a few months. I feel from posting this I’ve already checked out though 😬😅
Add to the fact that I’ve gotten very close to a previous date… but even if he’d tick a lot of my boxes, I woudn’t date that person. But I feel super safe because of the fact that I see it as a friendship. And I am currently having this talk about it with this friend. He knows about my date too.
Please give me advice. Thank you !! Genuinely trying to respect everyone and myself included.
1 comment
I think you need to be careful about taking it slow and also having sex. Usually how it goes defines the relationship and it’s hard to shift out of it. Right now it seems like you’re in FWB territory. If you want anything more than that then you need to be clear with him and try and spend time outside of the bedroom.
Are you guys going to get checked before having unprotected sex? Seriously, don’t risk your health for someone who you are not sure about!