I am Catholic and my husband has no religion although he occasionally talks about the Norse Gods because he is half Norwegian (he doesn’t pray or worship them though really). So, l’ve been wanting to get a cross for a while to hang in our home, which I voiced before to him and he never opposed it. Well, we’ve been arguing a lot lately and I had ordered a cross before we began arguing but now he tells me he doesn’t want to see the cross in the house.
Being Catholic has always been a part of who I am, although I don’t go to Church every Sunday, I pray all the time and obvious as my husband he’s aware of m religion. But am I wrong for wanting to disregard him and out up the cross in our home. I feel like this is a power move to put his foot down because we’ve been fighting a lot recently. What should I do???
14 comments
I do think you should be allowed to put up a cross.
Just don’t be surprised if he hangs a photo of Odin or Thor next to it.
I would not want a cross in my home and I was raised catholic. How is it a power move for him to say no when you’re the one putting religious iconography in your home?
This is absolutely a power move. However, so is ordering the cross… being religion-free might be as much a part of his identity as Catholicism is a part of yours.
Still, this whole argument is silly. It’s not about the cross. You know that. He knows that. It’s about whatever you guys were arguing about or whatever underlying tension exists between you two. Fix that and worry about ornaments later. The omnipotent God is going to do just fine even if there’s no cross in your house.
I’d compromise. Offer to hang the cross somewhere you get ready (your side of the bathroom or similar) and ask if he’d like to display his coat of arms where he gets ready.
Just talk to him. I’m not sure if you are wanting to display the cross in a shared space/space that family and friends would see and that’s the issue or if it’s not even the issue at all. I’m leaning towards the latter, but it’s hard to tell without a quick chat.
Its house as well. Hang your cross at your place of work
A marriage is about compromises. And he’s not compromising at all.
Putting it above the front door is declaring to everyone who enters that they’re coming into a specific religion household. It’s much different than putting it on your nightstand in your bedroom.
What are you going to do about kids?? Christening and confirmation?? Jesus birthday instead of Santa? Midnight mass? Fasting?
I grew up catholic but going to the Bible study to Lutheran church and going to orthodox church. Also, celebrating both Christmases and easters. Because neither of my grandpa’s were catholic so we learned about their religion too. My parents had a huge rosemary on the wall with an orthodox cross in the middle.
What you do is believe for yourself. There’s no reason you need to declare the house catholic.
Tell him he can hang a Mjölnir if he wants, but you’re going to hang your cross.
Everyone should respect their spouses’ (reasonable) right to their own religious beliefs. If it’s unpretentious, brings you joy, and hurts no one, then I don’t see the issue.
Does he think you’re wanting to place it in a pretentious manner? Do you (or him) have any kind ob negative emotions or trauma associated with the religion?
If he’s never opposed it until now that you’ve been arguing, and you feel like he’s saying no as a power move….do you think you’re desire to all of a hang a cross on the wall is also your own power move? Maybe you’re really wanting it out of spite? Just a thought.
Either way, it’s also your home too right, and you’re allowed to decorate as you see fit. It’s not like you’re changing the color of the walls neon yellow or anything drastic.
Tell him you will hang your cross or he will not end up in Valhalla.
Talk it out. I would rather have a compromise with my spouse than do anything out of spite. As another commenter said, it’s not just about the cross. It’s about fundamental religious differences that may or may be able to be bridged.
I’m Catholic, btw. Pray on it. Is it possible just to keep a small rosary with you, for example?
I do not mean to be rude or obnoxious, but I do not agree with ANY of the responses.
I used to study ancient cultures. I went to Seminary and used to be a pastor. I took several courses in Myth and Morality. So, here is an alternative I will suggest to you.
Ask him if he would be interested if you got a Celtic cross.
It has been a LONG standing tradition that Christianity has “stolen” Pagan traditions and integrated it into the Christian Faith. It is the very foundation of our current calender (known as the Gregorian calendar). All Saints Day? An adaption of Halloween. Easter? Celebration of the Spring Soulstice. This is all historical facts.
The Celtic Cross in Ireland/Scotland was actually rooted in the pagan teadition of the Sun Wheel, which was a symbol of Odin (before reaching Ireland)- the “head honcho” of the Norse god Odin. Ireland/Scotland’s Celtic tradition adopted this as a Christian symbol as well.
And, to be honest, Celtic crosses are much more artistic than any others. What makes them that wsy usually is the Celtic Knot design inside the Celtic Cross, symbolizing immortality.
You bith get your religious symbol 🙂 It is a perfect compromise, and also a nice piece of art.
Hi everyone, I haven’t had the chance to reply to everything individually but I appreciate all the input. It has been extremely helpful and eye opening in many ways. Im going to try to speak with my husband and see if there’s somewhere we can compromise. Which seems like it wouldn’t been the obvious thing to do but I was very set in my way I was starting to want to stand strong in my beliefs and although i still feel strongly about them, I want him to feel comfortable in his home too so there has to be a way for us to both be happy. Wish me luck!