I know men hate when women do this, and that this is a huge reason why men don’t like to open up emotionally, but everyone can’t have the same story for why they feel this way.

18 comments

  1. Hate is a little soft. It’s deep disappointment. But we still love em.

  3. “Are you crying?” Laughs at me. I can’t help that the national anthem gets me emotional

  4. Hate is a strong word. But it sucks when you open up to someone and they spit it in your face so they can “win” some argument in the future. Anything you say can and will be used against you in kangaroo court.

  5. “Are you seriously being emotional?” Literally every time I’ve been vaguely emotional.

    “I need someone stronger.” After she told me she screwed some random at a party and it “meant nothing”. It was 4 years into a relationship.

    “You seemed like you could handle it”. After finding out that she was cheating WITH me for 6 months. She, in fact, had not broken up with her BF. The same woman I gave my V card to.

  6. Used “your rape” in finger quotes during an emotional argument about suicide. Depression, ptsd, or trauma are never excuses for “not being a man”.

  7. Never encountered anything like this ever

    And if it happened I doubt I’d care; would probably just remove said toxic person from my life

  8. So my then girlfriend and I are talking and its some heavy stuff, fears and whatnot. So I tell her one of my deepest fears: that when get older I get the dementia that affected grandparents on both side of the family. And a few days later I’m having one of those can’t remember/tip of your tongue moments and she jokes “I guess its that dementia kicking in.” I didn’t even realize until 18 months after the breakup how that was the moment my “emotional availability” fuse broke. At the time I was just stunned and tried to shake it off because I didn’t have the emotional maturity and security in the relationship to tell her how fucked up that was. She eventually did break up with me for being unavailable (and because “guy friend I didn’t have to worry about” had love bombed her enough).

  9. My mother and my sister, absolutely. Constantly. My wife, never. She gives me the safe space to share anything and everything and has never once in the 34 years we’ve been together brought anything up again in a hurtful or shaming way. She’s healed my heart and shown me what true love really is.

  10. Hate is a strong word. I’d definitely use it to describe what I feel when someone does this.

    Opened up about being sexually assaulted, suicide attempt, insecurities, all very personal things yknow. All of it was joked about, used against me in arguments, etc.

    I don’t get why women ask for this, only to use it against men. I was okay keeping it to myself and dealing with it, if you don’t care, don’t ask

  11. My first AND second major relationships asked me to open up more. When I finally eased up my self control and told them things, it did not go well.

    The first one I told her I was non-actively Bisexual, because I was with her and I believe in monogamy.
    We got into an argument at a party, and she yelled at me to go suck cock like the faggot I am.

    The second relationship, I opened up about how something she had said was very hurtful to me. She called me a sissy, and told me repeatedly how she wished ahe had never asked me, because it ruined how she saw me.

    Needless to say, the third and 4th, I did not open up.

  14. Growing up, any time I was pushed too hard/cornered/freaked out by my parents I’d tear up. Father would back up, mother would give the “Oh now you try to play that card-” spiel.

    In relationships, well, the most egregious time was when my fiancee at the time threw my SA in my face- though she was apparently of the belief that men can’t get raped. A friend of hers was bitching about being pushed to do anal and she made the offhand comment to me about how I ‘know what it feels like’.

    Same one also mocked me for being a wreck after the cat I raised from being a kitten died of kidney failure.

    In the relationships prior, it was usually a game of needling at whatever insecurity whenever I committed a slight (not checking my phone obsessively, being friendly to a stranger that happened to be female, not knowing the correct verbiage to a rhetorical question, etc).

    at this point the only winning move in this strange game is to not play.

  15. Hi.

    The “manflu” came up recently. It was pneumonia, but I’m not telling her that because all that does is get her annoyed at the very idea of me not being able to pull my half of the household for a few days.

    Or that time at the urgent care dentist on holiday in Spain where she joked with the receptionist about how men have no pain tolerance while I was standing there having lost a full nights’ sleep to pain. Two days later had a wisdom tooth removed, a root canal done and an abcess that had eaten part of my jawbone drained. Dental surgeon wondered how i’d made it that far without pain med. Well..

  16. Night and day between my ex and my wife. My ex treated any argument as something she had to win and wouldn’t hesitate to use any sort of perceived weakness, failing or secret given in confidence to do so. My wife treats arguments as a discussion between adults and would never dream of being so underhanded. Guys (and girls)- don’t settle for someone who treats you bad.

  18. We had been together for 2 years give or take, and I had told her all the ins and outs of my adoption, and the wierd feelings it can leave over because I was old enough to when it happened to know my parents aren’t my actual biological doners, and how sometimes it can make me feel like relationships don’t really matter because “if my creators didn’t want me, then why would you?” Kind of thinking.

    So, I got along with both her parents, but it got to a point where it was impossible to really get any alone time with her because they’d invite themselves into double date kinda things. (Like if I wanted to take her to a movie, her parents would be like “oh I’ve wanted to see that, what showing are you going to?” Then tag along) which wasn’t bad at first but it started to be like every time I wanted to take her out. I brought up how I sometimes didn’t want them to tag along, and just wanted to be with her, and it turned into a sort of argument because she felt I was trying to cut them out. It got a little heated, and she ended up snapping at me “at least MY parents to spend time with you!”

    It just stopped me in my tracks. I dont really know if it was intentional or not, and she seemed to realize what she had said and apologized pretty much immediately but like. The damage was done I guess. I couldn’t really feel comfortable around her or her parents after that, and we split up a few weeks later.

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