So the past 3 first dates I’ve been on have been great. We meet for drinks or food and towards the end of the night, I’ll casually invite the girl back to my place. I’ll let them know there’s no “hidden agenda” but that I simply would like more time to get to know them.
All three girls obliged. Two of the three told me back at my place that they typically never go back to a guy’s place on the first date, and I totally understand why. Dudes be crazy these days.
So I’m just curious, what indicators do you look for when you say “yeah. I’m comfortable enough to go back home with this guy”?
Edit: thanks for the insight and perspective, everyone!
31 comments
I think that’s just something people do when they’re really seeking emotional and physical validation. It’s definitely not the wisest decision to make regardless of first impression because we all know that tells close to nothing about somebody. “I normally never do this” just translates to “please don’t think I’m easy because I’m behaving as though I am” (maybe they’re not always so physically available and you just caught them on a wild night, but either way, it’s not a move that somebody who sees true potential in you is gonna make)
For real. If behind his ear smells good then his penis smells good.
One girl that went home with me said it was because she thought she could take me in a fight if she needed to.
Nothing… can’t trust so easily these days
my location is on, besties are up, and im not serious about him so its just sex.
Alcohol, it was just alcohol. I no longer drink on first dates.
Sorry to say vibes and vibes only. Can’t really get more descriptive than “don’t be weird/off putting”
Nothing. Absolutely nothing
Nothing. Don’t do it.
Nothing. I’m not coming home with a man I just met that day for the first time.
It’s a no for me no matter what, I’m not trying to get murdered.
Knowing the guy before the first date.
The only way I’m going to go back to a guy’s house on the first date is if I knew him prior to the date. Like we were friends or classmates but other than that? absolutely not, even when a guy claims “there’s no agenda” I don’t believe him. Whenever a guy invites me to his house I’m going to always assume he’s trying to get into my pants.
Plus it’s hella dangerous, alot of men don’t take no for an answer.
Mmm vibe, yes, but also what I’m looking for at that time.
If I’m not serious about you and I’m open to a fling/ my besties know where I am, just in case… It also depends on how long I was chatting to him for, what I think I know about him and how long the first day has been.
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The whole (no hidden agenda) thing subconsciously tells them “Hey, no pressure” and puts the control back in their hands which I think would make a lot of people feel more comfortable. Rather than feeling like you’re expecting/ hoping to get lucky.
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Kinda like a cat lol (I want you to want me but only when I actually want/ approach you, otherwise just stand aside) lol
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Hope that helps lol <3
Nothing. And I find it so annoying when guys don’t understand (or at least pretend to understand) that even ax murderers always say “I’m a good guy, you have nothing to worry about”. Ffs man, I only known u for an hour!
My previous girlfriend liked my house because my family (parents and brothers) are all pretty quiet people that keep to ourselves, while her family are all loud and rowdy people, so she saw my house as her place of calm and silence.
That’s not something you can artificially manufacturer, but the idea is that you and your place have to give off an inviting feel to her. Thats going to be different between everyone, and you might not even be able to make it, but it’s a thing to keep in mind.
If they actually like you, not only your looks but what gen Z calls “vibes”. Don’t be sketchy, make them feel as safe as possible but truly mean that intend, It’s a dangerous world out there for women, try to see the world from their POV.
If I’m… depressed and willing to take moderate risks for new sexual experiences because I just spent several years in a dead end marriage where I felt completely devoid of sexuality by the end.
So really, 2017 was the year for that.
Also, as was noted here, I only hook up with guys I feel I stand a chance against in a fight.
Unless we’ve been friends for years and know each other extremely well, *literally nothing.*
Invite me back on the first date, and I can hear Keith Morrison (the Dateline host) saying *”It started as an ordinary day at Starbucks.”* in my head, narrating the last moments of my life. 🥴
(Yes, I know. But I watch a lot of true crime and this world is batshit crazy!)
I go back to his place if I want to have sex with him. Otherwise, why go?
What makes me want to have sex? Overall comparability, mutual attraction, and his personality being fun, kind, and not pushy
If the rapport and attraction during the date was still high
Nothing, honestly. It’ll take several dates and meetups before I’ll be comfortable enough to go back to a guy’s place. Going to his’ at after the first date is wayyyy too early for me, personally.
I love how their worst fear is getting rejected and ours has to be getting assaulted or murdered. Why do we even date the other gender.
I’m a dude but I’d say nothing as well. Knowing the person for a few hours can’t really confirm anything it’s still dangerous
“Do I like this guy enough to not mind being murdered by him?”
After a first date? Nothing. Ive seen enough scary crime shows to be weary.
I dont think I would ever go to someones place after just 1 date xD unless we were friends or knew each other from before
As others have said it’s purely based on vibes & whether I’d be comfortable getting physical. I don’t buy the “it’s only to get to know you more” excuse I can sit and talk with you in a pub or on a walk etc for five hours what’s the difference there?
for me there’s nothing that would make me go back to a strangers house after a first date. he could be the nicest guy in the world but it’s not happening until i get to know them better.
Mmmm well I’m definitely fit to answer this as I’ve done this a couple times… most of my decisions were based on their attractiveness… and how I was feeling at that moment…
I just wouldn’t believe them when they say they never go back on the 1st date 🤣🤣