They keep saying “damn, youre 20, and you dont go out and do anything. Just watch TV all day.” I just dont have friends dude. All my friends are in college in a different states. I dont keep contact with anyone from high school nor do I like any of them. I reached out to one friend but she left me on read :/ . I also dont like going outside during summer and there is nothing to do. I like catching up on Marvel movies and playing video games. Theyve also been bugging me about my weight. I have been going to the gym the last 5 days doing running and weightlifiting and not eating sweets to lose weight but apparently I still “look the same” according to them. I just dont know what to do with there criticism because I really dont know what to do outside, especially when I live in a rural town?
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Get a job, take up a hobby, learn a new skill, go to church, go to the gym (and don’t expect to see results in 5 days). If you want friends you probably aren’t going to find them in your living room.
Make new friends and enjoy your youth, go to concerts, anything other than waste away at home. The things on the TV aren’t going anywhere, there will always be a recording you can replay or an old system to play. But right now is the only time you’ll ever be 20, and for better or worse make some memories. Go to some bonfires. Don’t have friends? Make some. Not saying go crazy, but definitely enjoy the time now because it goes faster and faster as you age.
bunch of assholes in the comments, sorry. i’m in a similar boat rn, just ended my semester and i’m just kinda meandering. I’ve found the best way to make friends is to just talk to people at a summer job, but that’s easier said than done for some people.
Tell them you got a job as a OF ambassador and you will be in your room for the rest the summer with the do not disturb sign lol.
You’re taking classes and studying for the mcat. You’re going to the gym everyday. You’re an introvert. I see nothing wrong with this! Everyone saying yOuRe wAsTiNg YoUr yOuTh is old, I promise (coming from another old person). Maybe spend some of that study time on campus or join a study group to get your parents off your back. You’re not wasting or missing anything though, unless you want to be out partying. Live your life the way you want, just be aware your parents do have at least a little say while you’re still living with them.
If you want to be by yourself and just chill out, then find some café or park to hang out at. I don’t think you should really force yourself to make friends or do exciting things if you don’t really feel like it. Just do the things you enjoy doing. Just be homeless so they don’t get the chance to hassle you. They sound a little bit bored, to be honest.
You sound introverted. That’s ok. No you don’t HAVE to go make friends but you SHOULD want to do things that interest you. At least once in awhile. 🥰 I know it’s hard but I think you’re doing better than you (and your parents) think. Hang in there.
A lot of assholes in these comments. I think you’re doing just fine. Girl is studying for the mcats for gods sake and everyone’s still screaming “not good enough!!” A lot of boomer energy in these comments, please do not listen to them! There is nothing wrong with being an introvert, live your life the way you want to. Your parents suck for being so critical, especially about your weight.
This comment section is full of boomer energy. OP wasn’t asking you to tell them how to go out and be social – they want their parents off their back.
OP is an adult and can do whatever they want. Who gives a shit if you think they’re wasting their youth?
All these comments acting like she’s a pouty teenager, when actually she’s a grown adult studying for MCAT? Ludicrous. I’m sorry your parents and all these morons in the comments won’t let you just live your life. Regardless of how you wish to live, if you don’t want your parents on your back, you gotta move out eventually.
Leave the girl alone. She seems normal and maybe she’ll me some one at the gym. She not drinking and taking drugs. She’ll be ok
You are studying for the MCAT. And you need a break. Tell them to get off your back.
It’s been 5 days. You’re not going to see a massive change that soon. I get what you mean. When we moved from the big city to desert there isn’t much to do especially w the heat that doesn’t favor me. Focus on yourself and if the gym makes you happy then keep doing that.
Do what makes YOU happy.
I am so sorry your parents are being so rude. Instead of picking on you, they could ask you to do something fun with them.. but we can’t control what others say only enforce boundaries and control your view on this and how you choose to handle yourself.
So your HOBBIES are going to the gym, watching (Marvel) movies and playing games. I see in the comments you’re also studying for MCAT. You’re doing a lot with your time. I suggest you go to the library or a cafe to do your hobbies and studying just so you’re away from your parents. May also feel good to be out. Some libraries have quiet rooms so you can bring your Switch or laptop. By doing so you might also make friends who see what you’re doing and strike up conversations. Libraries and some local cafes have events so you can find stuff to do and meet others.
For the record I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you and how your spending your time. But I see you wish you had friends to see. I’m in my thirties and I like reading, playing games and taking care of my dog on my day to day schedule. I also like concerts and local conventions. A comic or gaming convention could be a fun way to meet people who have similar hobbies. See if you have any in your area. Some local game stores do their own game nights too so look into that too.
You’re a little too old for the “go outside and play” that parents tell kids. Maybe they don’t mean to outside but just leave the house and go somewhere for a bit?
You can go outside and walk, swim, go to the library, a bookstore, a coffee shop, volunteer at an animal shelter, join a club or start a new hobby, lots of things to do and it’s doesn’t have to be all day every day.
It you want to turn your brain off during your break, there’s nothing wrong with it. Honestly, the friends I had when I was 20 were mostly worthless. Hence the “friend” that left you on read.
Just have fun at home and don’t listen to them. Try not to gain weight, but other than that, do what you want. It’s summer break, for goodness sake. You do what YOU want to do then, not what others want you to do.
I hate when people give their kids shit for being themselves
Unless your parents are the happiest and wisest people in the world, don’t live your life by their standards
Gonna be honest. Same boat OP. College just let out, my friends are in different cities/states, and I never really had a ton of friends in high school. I really only have 2 very good friends from there. But I’m not an introvert, quite the opposite. I like being around people. I like talking and being friendly. But I understand that it’s not how everyone spends their time. To me, if you want to watch marvel movies in your home that’s great, if you want to see them outside of your home, that’s great! But also, it’s summer. If you want to workout, then do it. But your parents also have to know, it’s a slow change. You don’t just go for a 30 minute run and loose like 20 or so pounds. It takes time. And if they keep bothering you about it not happening fast enough, don’t hear. You can listen but don’t take it to heart. You are doing the best you can!
you’re working on yourself, you study and you spend your free time watching tv. i see absolutely nothing wrong with it. but to get your parents off your back, maybe just tell them you’re gonna get out of the house more and just go to a cafe or a library with free wifi, put on some headphones and keep doing you. you just sound like an introvert and there’s nothing wrong with that.
What is more annoying than your parents saying these things… is the other people on this thread telling you to do things.
There is nothing wrong with you, there is nothing wrong with what you’re doing/not doing. My sister is 10 months younger (currently I am 30F and she is 29F), and she was pregnant at 17, growing up binge drinking under age and putting herself in dangerous situations. And I was at home playing video games. I’m not saying her way of living was wrong, but neither was my way.
Unfortunately I don’t think you can say or do anything for them to understand. Just live your life, and eventually you will be out of there in your own place and you can do whatever you want (all the TV and video games you want) without their criticisms.
Very easy to handle; just tell them everyone you know is out getting drunk & doing drugs , you’re simply not into that . They will leave you alone
Me an introvert also grew up with medium to super extroverted parents. I had no idea about those concepts in my late teens, early 20s and just explained it to them a couple of years ago, I’m 33 btw. It took some time and effort but they eventually understood and actually felt sorry for putting me under pressure to be socially active back then. The other thing is they still comment on my size and body but I just don’t care that much anymore. Over time a big part of my insecurities got replaced by a lot of tattoos and heavy lifting. It sucks, i know but you will find your way and your body over time. Just take the time and explain how you feel and that their vision isn’t yours. Best of luck and enjoy your summer full of video games and TV:)
Good luck with your studies. Probably should have put that up high in your OP.
My kids are 23, 20 and 17, and my eldest 2 are a lot like you my youngest is more social. I think it’s fine. You do you.
If you need them to relax – remind them the world is different, not to judge you by their generations exploits and interests – point out you are not a wild child, not selling their household goods for drugs, not sleeping with tons of people, you don’t have 3 children with different daddies – that you are a responsible person, working towards a good future.
Tell them that they raised you to be a strong minded woman and you are greatful for all their help, encouragement and support. That you love them.
P.s. as others said – take time to go study at a library – they will probably be happy to see you going out to study. Or if you could find a study group, or heck even a book club or something – then you can say: oh Susie says this… Or Adam says that… then they might feel you are not so isolated if that’s their concern.
I’m an introvert. I used to hear this so much growing up. “You’re wasting your youth.” I was an avid reader, and I never regretted all the books I devoured. I’m 42, and looking around at the adults today, I think more people should spend time just chilling out. Maybe if they picked up a book or studied to further their education, they wouldn’t be such ignorant a**hats.
If you are more of an introverted type, try going on nature hikes or a nice long walk.
5 days of working out and eating is definitely not long enough to see results,but you will thank yourself in a year.
“I know you guys love me and are concerned for me,but I do enjoy gaming. I need a mental break and I don’t want to go put and party like my friends. It’s not my scene. ”
I would recommend getting a part-time summer job.
Tell them you’re going out with friends and instead
Go out to dinner alone – treat yo self
Go watch a movie in theatres – treat yo self
Rent a hotel for the night to relax alone – treat yo self
🥰