My boyfriend (22M) and I (23M) have been together for over a year, most of that being long distance. We visit regularly and have planned to be back in the same place by next summer.
I’ve been out for many years and he’s been somewhat out but not fully. I’ve been in a serious relationship before and this is his first serious relationship. So I understand that there may be some hand holding and guidance needed to help him be fully comfortable about who he is and being in a relationship.
This has lead to some mishaps along the way which are okay, but some of them he acts like they are nothing or things not needed in a relationship. This has accumulated a bit to where things I were secure about in the relationship before, I am no longer. So we have decided on a 1 to 3 month break with weekly FTs to check in to catch up, talk about goals, and how the process is going. We are still committed and everything. All of the boundaries are still there but we just talk less so hopefully there’s some time to think and let the heart grow fonder again.
For those who have had or seen successful and productive breaks before, can you share any advice you have?
2 comments
The tip is not to take a break. Breaks don’t fix your problems. Logically, what do you expect a break to accomplish?
All you’ve mentioned is that he’s had mishaps. But you say you want a break to make the heart grow fonder. That fixes the mishaps?
I’ve rarely heard of a break going well. Define the boundaries. Don’t expect it to fundamentally change the relationship.
You’re addressing insecurity in the relationship by doing something that will probably exacerbate it. Make sure you both are 100% determined that this is the correct thing for your relationship; otherwise, breaking up will be a vastly superior.