I have never posted on Reddit before but I’m a bit blindsided by what has just happened. To give a bit on context it was my last day recently and I am the first in the team to not get a leaving gift, also pretty sure they only just remembered the card as it wasn’t sealed and a few of the team hadn’t signed it.
To make matters worse my manager put in a leaving lunch for my last day but on the day I had to organise the food, delivery and also pay for it …and now one of the team still hasn’t paid me back… I basically funded part of my own leaving lunch and I’m pretty livid about it. I now feel like an idiot as only 3 days prior to me leaving I contributed to a team members birthday collection. I always got on well with the team so I have no idea why they have treated me this way.
33 comments
Yeah I’d be pissed off, but at least you’re out of there now
That’s crap and says more about them than you. Don’t let this stop you contributing in future if you wish, but also know you can say no if you don’t.
I’ve had the same happen to me, it sucks but you’ll forget about it soon enough don’t worry.
Totally pissed
>I always got on well with the team so I have no idea why they have treated me this way.
It probably isn’t deliberate. It’s probably just people being rubbish, and not working out between themselves who’s job it was to do stuff. I’ve seen a lot of workplace goodbyes and they can vary massively, not always related to how much the person is liked.
Not that I’m saying it’s not crappy, but there’s a good chance it’s really not you.
Are people WFH now?
I find it’s changed the dynamics of leavings cards now as they expect you to e-mail the secretary with what you want to write, and the collection is done by bank transfer. I know this discourages me, and if I don’t like you enough to warrant me doing a gift myself you may miss out.
They sound horrible. Maybe someone genuinely forgot but if that was the case they should have gone above and beyond to make you feel appreciated. I’d leave such a bad review on Glassdoor about how they don’t appreciate their staff.
I’d feel pissed off too.
I knew an old team I worked with didn’t like me when they took me to a Vegan restaurant for my leaving lunch. This was 30 years ago, so they put a lot of effort into finding one.
Yea I’d be annoyed man but we don’t give to receive
It’s one of those things.
Gotta remember as well things are very tight at the moment.
It’s not a big deal in the grand scheme of things
I was the social sec at my last place, organising quite a lot of the stuff we did outside of work. I thought that I got on well with pretty much all of the team. Around 20 people came to my leaving lunch at the local. Yet – it also felt like they put in the absolute minimum effort with my send off – I got a (non-engraved) pen and my card was one that I had bought myself as part of the ‘last minute’ card collection for the team.
I won’t lie, I felt a little put out. But at the same time, life goes on.
I was at one place for 5yr, last day was a huge non event as I basically worked to end of shift handed in my kit and that was it. Wasn’t expecting an honour guard or anything but having made deputy tl meant something to me. Ended up at a crummy job which I had hoped would be better. Luckily I’m now somewhere else.
I left a job after SIX years and didn’t even get a good luck text from my manager who wasn’t in.
Tell me about it. I contributed to full time staff leaving my first work place about 8 people over 2.5yrs, a tenner a time (when I was making 3.12 an hour). Then when I left I was told part time people don’t get leaving gifts… Like why the hell when I was paid less was I always told to contribute.
Used to work at a school where your class team went around doing collections for you from everyone else for these events. Former teammate was having a bitch and moan about not getting much for some event because her team didn’t put much work in. I just looked her dead in the eye and said when you were on my team I literally got married and didn’t even get a card. So yes it does depend on your team, and yes obviously some are absolute rubbish.
She shut up.
I left somewhere after 11 years. The manager was based at another site but there was a small team at my site.
A guy I worked with for around 7 years said “[the boss] didn’t organise a card or anything”, that was it.
They all finished early (because they started early), so I finished my shift and left. There was another team on site so I gave my stuff to their manager. Very uneventful
I’m not too bothered now. I used to contribute to collections but it is what it is, I’ve moved on to a better job
The lunch part is ridiculous, that you can be pissed off about. But, 2 years at the business I’m at would basically make you a temp. I think I’d expect a card and maybe the usual ‘stay in touch’ on the way out.
Good job you are out of there.
Yes many workplaces are not fair and some get preferential treatment for no good reason.
Yea my work do that when they don’t like people.
Unfortunately since COVID the number of leaving presents I’ve donated to have declined. I’m never in the office for the whip around.
I’ve worked at a few places where I’ve not received leaving gifts but they’ve not always been amicable or a significant length of time.
Now my last place where I for three years and a critical senior member of staff and even went on an actual leaving do, and still didn’t get anything, that’s bonkers to me.
It sounds like you have a crap manager. These things take organising and need to be put in hand a few weeks before the person leaves so that cards can be circulated etc. It should be your managers responsibility to know when a person is leaving even if they delegate the organisation to someone on their team. Sounds like your manager didn’t do this and if you want to blame anyone it’s them. Learn the lesson for when you have a team of your own.
17 years… Nothing. Had to leave my badge with the receptionist as my manager wasn’t there.
Having to organise the food/ money for your leaving meal isn’t right and should have been your manager or something. As for the leaving gift I don’t think you should be pissed, no. Two years isn’t that long and the most you’re missing out on is maybe a £10 bottle of wine. There’s more important things to think to be pissed off about in life
Mate, don’t waste the energy.
I left my firm after 9 years. I got nothing. Literally zero. No card, no lunch, nothing.
I got married the year before I left. Not a single person from work came to the reception (appreciate not everyone wants this) and I got a £10 Amazon voucher as a wedding gift.
Just thank god you left and move on.
You get the gift of leaving them arseholes behind.
Had the exact same happen to me, it stings! Literally a few weeks before I left, someone was getting married and I got the card, arranged the collection and he got over £250 and a nice card. When I left I got nothing, didn’t even expect cash but a nice card or something would’ve been nice. My last place got me flowers, wine and a card when I left, was at both jobs for 2 years.
I’d be pissed off.
But I also wouldn’t have paid for the food, as I wouldn’t have organised it.
I’m slightly miffed after a place I worked at for 19 years, I got a small amount of money to go towards something I was saving for. I say small amount, it wasn’t tiny, but I know people who’d been there less than 1/2 my time would get double and more of what I recieved. I donated to all birthdays, leaving, babies, weddings etc…. despite me only having 2 big birthdays only one of those obtained any birthday things. If you’re talking about how much you put in to take out… at £5 a time, having big birthdays, leavings, weddings and children… Sometimes there were over 10 occasions a year. I probably donated 3x what I recieved. This isn’t my reason for being miffed. I don’t mind the difference, it’s the idea that after all I’d done (and I dug them out of the Sht many times) that I recieved less than half of what some incompetents (the ones who fked things and I then fixed) left with.
If it’s the done thing it seems a bit off.
I left the same place twice, once after 5 years, then again after being back for a year, and got a leaving lunch both times.
Friend I made working there, that started before me, recently left after 10 years and got nothing.
I left a job after 8 years a few years ago, same situation. Not even a text from the head teacher. I think by the time I left I was in like the top 10% of long-serving staff.#
School has since imploded and everyone is leaving.
A similar thing happened to me and it still pisses me off 3 years on. I was the organiser of this in my team (up to 90 people), organised birthday, leaving, engagement celebrations (drinks, cards, gifts, etc.) Then when it came to my maternity leave I got nothing, a big fat 0. Actually getting riled up thinking about it, so you are justified to feel this way. I’ve now made it my mission not to get involved in the organisation and barely contribute now.
I stopped contributing at all when I saw voluntary disparities being made (bullying in a workplace). I very openly tell people that i don’t contribute and don’t expect any gift nor card on my on special days and organize things myself if I want to. People understand and so far have appreciated the honesty.
If they’re a friend, I’ll buy them something myself.
The employer can organize gifts/cards/celebrations as is appropriate for all staff, commensurate with staff members time in post.