TL;DR My ex boyfriend (22/M) gives me (20/F) mixed signals after breakup, or am I just assuming?
Everything was perfect and everything was going so fine. Until it was my boyfriends final’s week (he’s in his last year in uni), he was so busy and I became very understanding. We weren’t talking very much during his finals week but are consistent in updating. One night I miss him very much and I joked “looks like we already broke up/we dont look like a couple hahaha” because we arent talking that much. It was just a joke. And he took it seriously. He felt bad. I decided to sleep and not respond because I don’t want to start an argument with him because he is busy.
But he broke up with me. Days after he asked to try again and admitted it was an impulsive decision. We both said that everything was perfect until that night happened. But I was already hurt so much because of the breakup, to the point where I almost killed myself. So I was half hearted. I tried but it was heavy on my part. I told him that I feel like he is not sure of me because of his impulsive decision. He said I deserve better. We talked and we realized that maybe it’s better off we put an end to it. I talked to him and he said he wants to distance himself first so we can both heal.
I know him and he is the kind of guy who easily changes his mind. We tried so much. But we also overthink a lot. He is graduating now and I’m just on my 2nd year of college. He thinks maybe he wants to focus on his work first because he feels pressured. We both brought up that maybe we are on different phases :((
It’s been 2 weeks now. I’ve been constantly reaching out to him to fix us but…. Silence. I watch his tiktok live and he still sings our songs, even made a song for me (about how he loves me but he wants to rest his heart, and he hopes our time aligns)
I think he loves me, but why is he doing this to me? :((( i’m losing hope. What do you think I should do?
4 comments
>Days after he asked to try again and admitted it was an impulsive decision.
>We talked and we realized that maybe it’s better off we put an end to it.
Either you’re not telling us an accurate story, or your conversations really are flip-flopping, and we’re not in a position to tell you whether it’s because he’s inconsistent, or whether he’s trying to tell you what you want to hear.
>But I was already hurt so much because of the breakup, to the point where I almost killed myself.
Please talk to a mental health professional. Your college likely has resources available to you that your student fees are already going towards.
Hi OP, I’m really worried about your mental health. No relationship should ever lead to attempted unaliving.
Please seek out counseling services at your university or talk to trusted friends/family members. IF you think they will be supportive of you and your mental health.
The issue here IS NOT whether or not you and your ex have a chance. The problem is that you tried to end yourself because a relationship ended.
I have been heartbroken/despondent/absolutely heartsick before and I never considered removing myself from this life.
Please, please, please get help.
“One night I miss him very much and I joked “looks like we already broke up/we dont look like a couple hahaha” because we arent talking that much. It was just a joke. And he took it seriously. He felt bad. I decided to sleep and not respond because I don’t want to start an argument with him because he is busy.”
You weren’t joking, you were being manipulative. You weren’t trying to avoid a fight, you were playing with his head/heart.
You need therapy. You shouldn’t worry about a relationship until you figure your own shit out. Your behavior in this relationship was toxic. The only person you have control over is yourself, fix you so that you can be your best self going into your next relationship.
I don’t understand.. jokes are meant to be funny. You took a serious thing and tacked on “hahahaha”.. why? It wasn’t funny. It hurt him. That was where you should have apologized, not ignore him and go to sleep.
Silence is an answer. You’re reaching out and he’s not being receptive. So stop. Take time and reflect. Heal. Grow. Move on.