Facial expressions

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1. One of the biggest challenges for someone who is actively trying to work on their communication skills is starting conversations and keeping them going. It is normal to struggle a bit when you are trying to make small talk, because it is not always easy to think of things to say. This is especially true when feeling anxious! On the other hand, some anxious people talk too much, which can have a negative impression on others.

   Most people experience some difficulty when talking after their braces are first applied. It’s perfectly normal, and with a little effort, you’ll be able to overcome it fairly quickly.

   The most important step you can take to getting used to talking with braces is to practice doing it! You can try singing, speaking or reading aloud to yourself, or even speech drills (you can find some free ones online!).
   It may help to do this in front of the mirror, or even to record yourself, so that you can more easily catch your problem areas and sticking spots.
   And please just remember, the braces are only TEMPORARY.

   Back to the communication and building your confidence when socialising. (Again, you can practice this at home or even with family members. You don’t have to tell them that you’re practicing on them.. and if they converse back with you and you are able to get a good flow back and forth then, result!!

   When in social situations, try and start a conversation by saying something general and not too personal, for example talk about the weather (“Gorgeous day, isn’t it?”), pay a compliment (“That sweater looks great on you”), (I love your hair, I’ve been watching tutorials online and it’s definitely harder than they make it look) *little laugh* humour is good.
   You can make an observation (“I noticed that you were reading a book on sailing, do you have a boat?” Or a bit less formal, “you like boats do you? Are you reading to learn how to sail?”), or introduce yourself (I’m *name* by the way, don’t think we’ve met, have we?”).

   Remember to pay attention to their answers and not just what you’re going to ask next. That will help to start a flow with the conversation, rather than the 20 questions game.
   A conversation is a two-way street – don’t talk too little, or too much! As much as possible, try to contribute to about one-half of the conversation when speaking one on one.

   A handy bit of information to remember—
   – Showing a bit of vulnerability will not make the conversation awkward. It’s okay to admit that you’re feeling a little nervous. Depending on where you are (for example, if you were in a social club/ or activity group) you could say “I love coming to places like this, but I can never find someone to speak to about things I like – you know like interesting things that don’t bore me to tears” *humour, little laugh*. “What kind of things do you like? Haha, no pressure now”.
   Remember that most people enjoy talking about themselves, so try ask open ended questions instead of closed ended questions.
   Instead of asking questions that will get a short response such as “yes or no”. Try open ended such as, “so where do you work?”, “oh really, how did you get into that or how long have you worked there?”.

   Recommended Readings..

   For more information on overcoming social anxiety, effective communication, and increasing assertiveness, see:

   Antony, M. & Swinson, R. (2000). Shyness and Social Anxiety Workbook: Proven Techniques for Overcoming Your Fears. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger

   Antony, M. (2004). 10 Simple Solutions to Shyness. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger

   Burns, D. D. (1985). Intimate Connections. New York: Signet (Penguin Books)

   McKay, M., Davis, M., & Fanning, P. (1995). Messages: The Communication Skills Book. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger

   Paterson, R. (2000). The Assertiveness Workbook: How to Express Your Ideas and Stand Up for Yourself at Work and In Relationships. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger