people who suddenly fell out of love, what happened?

39 comments

1. I knew that someone else can make her happier than I could. We were together for a long time close to a decade, she deserved better and I wasn’t mature enough to be that guy. I woke up and realized that if I truly cared for her that I had to let her go. If you truly love someone, you want what’s best for each other. And we knew that we weren’t meant for each other as lovers. She knew she had to let me go so I can improve myself and move on.

   We are still friends to this day. Still care for each other and see each other twice a month, have our own relationships, and hope for the best.

   I guess I still love her but differently.

2. Found out she only liked me for my money

3. I talked to them and really thought about their personality and if i wanted that in my life.

4. She was a jerk.

5. Dry response, not getting the same energy, delaying messages while being active and posting in stories, not asking questions about me (not being curious about my life)

6. My ex gf was always on her phone. As soon as she’d open her eyes in the morning she’d grab her phone and start scrolling. We never could have a meaningful conversation because she was always scrolling; it really turned me off.

7. I changed. I feel like I became a better person, but she wouldn’t. She held firm to our old beliefs and I just didn’t need that to move forward. I was no longer the person she fell for, and I didn’t want to be anchored to a past I was getting away from.

8. She slapped me in the face once when we were having a disagreement and everything just died in an instant.

9. I realized that our increasingly frequent arguments were not, in fact, caused by something terrible I did or failed to do (despite her best attempts to gaslight me into believing otherwise), but external projections of her internal struggles. I mentally fast-forwarded what the rest of my life would be like with such a person, and suddenly lost all desire to be in her presence ever again. I broke it off and have been happy ever since (especially because being free of her allowed me to meet the fantastic woman who is now my wife and the mother of our two children).

10. Toxicity

11. Realising I was doing all the work and was being taken for a ride. I was amazed at how quickly my heart just… switched off.

12. She doesn’t try, I feel like I’m the least important chore on a to- do list.

13. I stopped taking my meds

14. She got plastered…I had seen her drunk before but that time it was on another level and I saw a version of her I never wanted to see again, a combination of toxic, broken, angry, and lost…she needed some serious help that I couldn’t offer.

15. I felt like a walking atm to her

16. I started noticing her controlling behavior, and everything out of her mouth was negative, unless we were in public. Lots of other subtleties as well.

    Not instant, but It snowballed quick once I looked at her behavior objectively.

17. My GF( now ex) told me, “lets be friends” thats how she broke up with me, never heard her since then

18. It was the little things that snowballed and became too large to ignore. I began dreading going home, working longer hours just to avoid going home. I would cry in the washroom stalls at work because it was so much to deal with. I couldn’t talk to her without her storming off and shutting me out.

    I was carrying the load of the relationship and household because we both agreed she would get help for counselling and therapy, I was doing fine for a few months, but around the 4th month of this agreement she wasn’t doing anything. She wasn’t going to school, so she dropped out. Then she said she would find work but she didn’t. Said she would go for counselling but didn’t. She fell down the vaccine rabbit hole from friends and groups, fueling her anxiety even more.

    All this while I was working and managing the household, rent, bills, food, fuel, etc. Then I was put in charge of activities for us to do. I was in charge of absolutely everything, and it was completely draining. I would lay down for a nap as soon as I got home, but I would be put on a guilt trip for it. When people say men are providers, you bet your ass I was the poster boy for it.

    I went home for Christmas break by myself, and I completely zoned out. I lost track of time, days, and places. I was absolutely exhausted mentally, emotionally, and physically. The same day after coming back, I wasn’t met with a hug or a “I missed you”; nope, I was met with silence and crying.

    An hour after being back I broke up with her. I told her I can’t do this anymore, I’m tired. I shouldn’t dread coming home. I shouldn’t feel this way being in my own home, I shouldn’t have to fight and carry the load for this long without any help from my partner. I was burnt out.

    The next day when she was gone I felt complete peace. Absolute peace and silence, it was amazing.

    Breaking up with someone was probably one of the hardest things I had to do. She wasn’t a bad person which made it more difficult but I needed to do it for myself and for my sanity. It was probably one of the most important decisions of my life.

19. The rose colored glasses just fell off one day. He would constantly try to fix me or tell me what to do… and he would want to hang out in Discord VCs. Cue about a week of itchiness. After breaking up with him I learned he was not a good person from the online community. I have to watch out for who I date now so this shit doesn’t happen again.

20. I found out he had been lying, stealing money from our joint account, and cheating on me for years.

21. It’s not suddenly, it’s usually multiple things and one day you wake up and you’re just done. Done with all the manipulation, feeling of not being good enough, controlling behavior etc.

22. Contempt.

23. Once I realized that I was keeping a mental scorecard of all the things that she’d done that hurt, I realized that it was time to end it.

    On the flipside, with a different relationship, I failed her. I *thought* she wanted X, while I could only deliver Y. I broke up with her because I couldn’t live up to the expectations I thought she wanted. Later learned that she was just happy to be with me, and was willing to accept me however way she could.

24. She asked for a one sided open relationship.

25. I don’t think it just happens out of the blue. There are these myriads of things you think you can tolerate and then it just starts to drain you out to the point where you realise you do not want to deal with this sort of shit for the rest of your life. Time to move on.

26. Threatening me and refusing to apologize

27. Sometimes a relationship just runs it’s course.

    I remember waking up next to a ex and I felt nothing for her, I didn’t hate her but she did nothing for me. So I ended it.

    She deserved better, on reflection, it’s easier to tell someone that there’s somebody else than it is to say you just don’t like them anymore.

28. Punched in the face because I wouldn’t pay for her to go on a European vacation with her family, she wouldn’t cut back on spending or get a job, in-laws stabbing me in the back, she started online dating while still married, sex was a problem, house was trashed with mountains of dirty dishes even when she was a stay at home wife, wouldn’t do any housework.

29. Lost my v card only to find out thru texts months later that she made fun of how “bad” I did to her guy bestie. I was 15.

30. I thought about spending the rest of my life with her and just couldn’t picture it.

31. She lied to her friends and family on the phone in front of me regularly. Constant white lies about where and when. Then I realized…nothing but lies.

32. She got about 6” too close to a friend of mine

33. I was married, and always saw us as as one team. After a particular tough patch, she suggested divorce, and I agreed that we should at least discuss the idea and figure how that would play out. She was very upset by this – as I later learned, she was trying to manipulate me by *threatening* divorce so that I would get scared and just agree with whatever she wanted us to do. So when I said we should discuss it as an option, she basically said that she would take everything, I would get nothing, and I would be completely abandoned… and then everything was gone.

34. Puts key in lock, opens door. Hear panicked fumbling and whispering in the bedroom. My first thought was, “Ah, that makes sense.” And I felt all my struggles and frustration just ebb away.

35. He gave me an STD and ghosted me for like a month. I was struggling a lot with this STD. , It was HPV , i had a lot of warts and the probability of me having cancer was HIGH.
    We had s3x a lot of times prior to me getting infected. One month before the warts started to come off, he was being distant. He had cheated on me with His former fuckbuddie.

    I had surgery to remove the warts twice. He was never around. This all happened around August 2019.

    He appeared in September of that year, when I was fuckable again.
    By that point i was completely destroyed. Lost like 20 kilos and was very depressed.
    He told me multiple times that he was no longer attracted to me due to my weight loss.
    We only argued, fucked and fought.

    The Pinnacle point was when he decided that punching me was a good idea.
    By that point i was so out of love.
    My best friend , my partner had cheated on me , was being sexually and physically abusive with me and he openedly was telling me about how he was cheating on me.

    In New years Eve of that year, i called it quits.
    He acted so bad for so long, gaslighted me, etc, i was so out of love. I hated that mf.

36. Someone teach me how to fall out of love

37. Told me he never loved me like I loved him, and he never could see himself loving me in the future. He said he only told me he loved me because he knew I liked to hear it and it made me smile. Talk about a knife to the heart. 💔

38. When I said I wanted a job, and he got angry because he’d have to participate in parenting on his days off. Instantly, just clicked off. Weird because he’s said and done shitty things to me the whole relationship, but the complete lack of willingness to take care of his own children just, broke it.

39. My ex and I had the same friends group so we saw eachother on a regular basis after the breakup. He broke up with me and I told him that I feel awful about it. About 3 days later, we all went out bowling and he hit on a girl right infront of my eyes and took her home. That was the point where I fell out of love.
    In that moment, I thought it was so rude to something like this right infront of my eyes even though he knew I was hurting.