This is my first ever post here on Reddit so I’m sorry if there’s a better place to write this.
People involved are me (op) GF (gf) gfd (girlfriend’s dad)
A little background for context. I’ve not had the best home life growing up, if people ask me how my childhood went I just say I didn’t have one, I was beaten, bruised, manipulated, and almost killed by my brother. Growing up the only thing I craved was the feeling of belonging. When I turned 19 I joined a dating app (you can probably guess what one it is). For 18 months I had maybe 10 matches in total and even then the most I could get out of them is a “hey”. When COVID hit I would go for months with nothing, but half way through April of this year I matched with B. Also the schooling system failed me big time, teachers pitty passing me all the way to HS so sorry if my writing is off.
Me and B got along instantly, bonded over our doggos, how mine is a 72lb ball of pure puppy energy and her’s a very energetic mumma’s boi. Even our crazy 80s project cars. After two weeks of talking we exchanged numbers, and it went even better than expected. Talking to her was like talking to an old friend you hadn’t seen in years. We ended up meeting in person, talked and joked over a plate of nachos, during dinner I told her it took me over an hour to drive to the restaurant and she insisted on paying. When the end of the night came she asked If I would like a second date to witch I gladly agreed. The following week she joking asked over text if I wanted to join her picking stones at the horse ranch that she takes riding lessons from. I did go, was able to help out and even got pizza at the end. When I got there the volunteer group had already been going for an hour or two, one thing she forgot to mention is that her DAD drove her there and was helping. After about 30-40 minutes he decided to pack it in because his back was “acting up” they had arrived late aswell so they where there for maybe an hour and 30 minutes. Later found out from her that after they went directly to building a deck at her brothers house, ok whatever didn’t want to pick up stones understandable. For the next few weeks she would come by my place as it was only me and dog vs the 5 people and a dog at her house. Things where going alone so well I joking said that since she threw me under the bus with her dad I’ll do the same and introduce her to my parents. She liked them and even my dad texted later saying I found a keeper. By this point we had established some basic rules, take things slow, if either one of us does something the other doesn’t like say something, if boundaries are crossed then say something (we both hadn’t had a proper relationship) basically keep the communication going, I’ll add this here, I also told her that i wouldn’t take the lead when it comes to initiative (first kiss, and things along those lines) so I don’t make her uncomfortable, she agreed and said she really appreciates that. Unfortunately last Wednesday the 17th she came by after work, at this point we had introduced our dogs to each other so she could spend more time here with me and pepper. We cuddled watching the office on Netflix, but when 9:30 came around her dog started to act up ( younger than 2 years) and tried to nip pepper. She said it was probably a good time to leave so we kissed our goodbyes, and she texted me “home” about an hour later.
Tuesday morning rolls around, I’m up at 6am and get to work a little after 7am, I text her “good morning” as I’ve always done, 9:30am comes I texted “really enjoying that lazy morning lol”. 12 rolls around, at this point I’m a little concerned and text “you doing ok?” (She’s been known to get a little too much beer in her during the week). 12:10 I think ok maybe she’s asleep still but I check her FB to see if she has been online at some point in the day…. Nothing, our conversations are there but it tells me user unavailable. I check Instagram, she was one of three people who I followed, and I only see 2 accounts that are under the following tab. She blocked my number, FB, and insta. After explaining everything to a coworker that I wanted to get home before all this kicked in. Halfway home all of the emotions I bottle up for years came through, my hands shook violently tears started to run and I felt a pain in my chest that I hadn’t felt in years. There might even be some rubber marks on the road from when I debated finding out what what survive, a 9000lbs truck, or a tree.
Thankfully I’m making this post so I never found out. I booked some time with a therapist that I’ve known and talked to for years. But on the journey I got a speeding ticket, I told him briefly what had happened and where I was going. But looked like he was training someone so I’m going to give the guy the benefit and say he had to follow the book($238 btw). So that’s how my day went.
I’ve been a wreck mentally and emotionally, I never learned to grieve and am just lost, I was hoping reddit could help explain or at least give me an insight as to what would cause this.
While halfway through my second paragraph, her dad messaged me on Facebook.
GFD- “Dude I think u should stop we’ll u r ahead level my daughter alone u r a creep”.
(I messaged her on TikTok asking what happened).
Op- “just wanted to know what happened, sorry for any unwanted hassle”
GFD- “U fucked up”
Op- “Ok, may I know how?”
Gfd- “No move on”
Op- “Ok, well all the best then.”
I kept it short not knowing what the outcome would be. So, now here I am. Laying in bed trying to put the pieces together.
I’m also gonna leave this here, her dad went away for 6 years because of some very “special sugar”. I wouldn’t be surprised If he’s still on it and this had something to do with it.
TLDR
Girlfriend’s dad didn’t like the way I cuddle his daughter so he got her to block me.
4 comments
Reposting as comment because code block format:
This is my first ever post here on Reddit so I’m sorry if there’s a better place to write this. People involved are me (op) GF (gf) gfd (girlfriend’s dad)
A little background for context. I’ve not had the best home life growing up, if people ask me how my childhood went I just say I didn’t have one, I was beaten, bruised, manipulated, and almost killed by my brother. Growing up the only thing I craved was the feeling of belonging. When I turned 19 I joined a dating app (you can probably guess what one it is). For 18 months I had maybe 10 matches in total and even then the most I could get out of them is a “hey”. When COVID hit I would go for months with nothing, but half way through April of this year I matched with B. Also the schooling system failed me big time, teachers pitty passing me all the way to HS so sorry if my writing is off.
Me and B got along instantly, bonded over our doggos, how mine is a 72lb ball of pure puppy energy and her’s a very energetic mumma’s boi. Even our crazy 80s project cars. After two weeks of talking we exchanged numbers, and it went even better than expected. Talking to her was like talking to an old friend you hadn’t seen in years. We ended up meeting in person, talked and joked over a plate of nachos, during dinner I told her it took me over an hour to drive to the restaurant and she insisted on paying. When the end of the night came she asked If I would like a second date to witch I gladly agreed. The following week she joking asked over text if I wanted to join her picking stones at the horse ranch that she takes riding lessons from. I did go, was able to help out and even got pizza at the end. When I got there the volunteer group had already been going for an hour or two, one thing she forgot to mention is that her DAD drove her there and was helping. After about 30-40 minutes he decided to pack it in because his back was “acting up” they had arrived late aswell so they where there for maybe an hour and 30 minutes. Later found out from her that after they went directly to building a deck at her brothers house, ok whatever didn’t want to pick up stones understandable. For the next few weeks she would come by my place as it was only me and dog vs the 5 people and a dog at her house. Things where going alone so well I joking said that since she threw me under the bus with her dad I’ll do the same and introduce her to my parents. She liked them and even my dad texted later saying I found a keeper. By this point we had established some basic rules, take things slow, if either one of us does something the other doesn’t like say something, if boundaries are crossed then say something (we both hadn’t had a proper relationship) basically keep the communication going, I’ll add this here, I also told her that i wouldn’t take the lead when it comes to initiative (first kiss, and things along those lines) so I don’t make her uncomfortable, she agreed and said she really appreciates that. Unfortunately last Wednesday the 17th she came by after work, at this point we had introduced our dogs to each other so she could spend more time here with me and pepper. We cuddled watching the office on Netflix, but when 9:30 came around her dog started to act up ( younger than 2 years) and tried to nip pepper. She said it was probably a good time to leave so we kissed our goodbyes, and she texted me “home” about an hour later.
Tuesday morning rolls around, I’m up at 6am and get to work a little after 7am, I text her “good morning” as I’ve always done, 9:30am comes I texted “really enjoying that lazy morning lol”. 12 rolls around, at this point I’m a little concerned and text “you doing ok?” (She’s been known to get a little too much beer in her during the week). 12:10 I think ok maybe she’s asleep still but I check her FB to see if she has been online at some point in the day…. Nothing, our conversations are there but it tells me user unavailable. I check Instagram, she was one of three people who I followed, and I only see 2 accounts that are under the following tab. She blocked my number, FB, and insta. After explaining everything to a coworker that I wanted to get home before all this kicked in. Halfway home all of the emotions I bottle up for years came through, my hands shook violently tears started to run and I felt a pain in my chest that I hadn’t felt in years. There might even be some rubber marks on the road from when I debated finding out what what survive, a 9000lbs truck, or a tree.
Thankfully I’m making this post so I never found out. I booked some time with a therapist that I’ve known and talked to for years. But on the journey I got a speeding ticket, I told him briefly what had happened and where I was going. But looked like he was training someone so I’m going to give the guy the benefit and say he had to follow the book($238 btw). So that’s how my day went.
I’ve been a wreck mentally and emotionally, I never learned to grieve and am just lost, I was hoping reddit could help explain or at least give me an insight as to what would cause this.
While halfway through my second paragraph, her dad messaged me on Facebook.
GFD- “Dude I think u should stop we’ll u r ahead level my daughter alone u r a creep”. (I messaged her on TikTok asking what happened). Op- “just wanted to know what happened, sorry for any unwanted hassle” GFD- “U fucked up” Op- “Ok, may I know how?” Gfd- “No move on” Op- “Ok, well all the best then.”
I kept it short not knowing what the outcome would be. So, now here I am. Laying in bed trying to put the pieces together.
I’m also gonna leave this here, her dad went away for 6 years because of some very “special sugar”. I wouldn’t be surprised If he’s still on it and this had something to do with it.
TLDR Girlfriend’s dad didn’t like the way I cuddle his daughter so he got her to block me.
You don’t need this drama in your life especially drug family drama. She gave you the best advice move on and block her on everything.
Man, that’s gotta be tough. What I am about to say, will not make you feel any better, but trust me in this. Sometimes you win the lottery and don’t even realize your ticket is a winner: “crazy is gonna be crazy, and if you’re lucky they’ll dump you before you’re so far ‘in’ that you can’t back out.”
It hurts like hell, but in the overall scheme of life, it’s a blessing compared to buying the farm and finding out it1/4” of top soil and barren stone beneath. Add a wacko prospective future father-in-law to the mix —given the sh*t you’ve already lived through — and … just … Wow! The bandaid is off! It hurts. Pick up the pieces, pay the fine and move on with living! I hope your next date is solid ground.
My heart really goes out to you here, as that’s a really rough way to have things end with someone you had seemingly hit it off well with.
It sounds like her dad controls her life and maybe even her social media accounts. That’s very odd. If the last message she sent you was “home” — she obviously cared enough about you to want you to know that she was safe. It’s not like she just ghosted you as soon as she left. That’s why it’s odd.
I hope someday you’ll be able to get the full truth from her directly so you can get closure on this.
I can imagine what you’re feeling. It’s a lot to digest. Please be gentle with yourself at this time. You’ve been broken up with in a very harsh, abrupt and indirect way.