Why don’t men compliment each others often like women?

33 comments

  3. Why would I? Compliments done for no real reason lose their value. I give compliments when deserved.

  4. I feel like men are under a lot less pressure to look good than women, and don’t need as much assurance. This of course only goes for appearance IMO. Men compliment eachother more on things they do like skills or projects.

  5. Me and my friends complement eachothers tiny dicks all the time. They’re cute.

  6. I guess it’s just a cultural norm, but I think it’s one that’s starting to change. I compliment other dudes all the time and vice versa

  8. We do. But we don’t coddle one another either and just as likely to bash on one another for fun! But yeah, we definitely give props to each other when due

  9. We do compliment each other. We just don’t automatically compliment each other’s physical appearance as a form of greeting whenever we see each other.

  11. Every male/male relationship is different. I have friends that we do compliment each other fairly often. “lookin’ good, bro, you been hitting the gym?” “Man I wish I could have your confidence.”

    Other friends there is very little of that, and it’s more shit talking “damn dude, congrats on the pregnancy but I really hope the kid doesn’t get your looks”

    Even a third type of friend that we do neither of the above and just exist. These are mainly acquaintances, though.

    I think it really all comes down to when, where, and how long you have been friends. The best man at my wedding started in group 3, moved briefly through group 2, and now squarely lives in group 1.

  12. Actually we do

    A lot. It just doesn’t hold as much weight as being praised for what you *do*

    A guy could tell me I looked nice, which I do often get, but that could me squat to a woman.

  13. I think it really depends on the friend group! I know plenty of guys that throw out bro compliments lol

  15. I compliment my homies. If they looking fly and put effort into their drip. I’ll tell them “Looking sharp, man.” Or if they get a hair cut or beard trimmed.

    I hype up my bros cause noone else will.

  16. People here saying “We don’t need it, it’s shallow, we’re not insecure and in need of validation” Bro, it’s okay to give someone a compliment and for all you know it could make someone’s day. Guys are constantly saying they don’t get compliments and feels like nobody cares, so honestly maybe ya’ll do need some more of that positivity.

  17. Not sure what type of friends you have… My friend group regularly compliment each other. It’s like the first three minutes whenever we meet up. Just compliments flying back and forth about how cool we all fucking look.

  18. I kinda do for my gym buddies.
    I’ll say things like: “Dam bro you making these 225s look like feathers” when really they are dying 😂

  19. Can’t speak for other men but compliments aren’t really a thing I had growing up, just insults disguised as banter

  20. I often want to ask what cologne some guy is wearing but unless it is my mate I’d just feel wierd.

    You get the initial smell when they walk past but if I follow them I’d think what am I really doing and what is he going to think. He may think nothing of it but I just won’t do it

  21. Hanging out in the wrong crowds? We compliment each other all the time. Nice socks, love the tie, love the suit etc.

  22. Actually in the fitness culture and workout culture we do.

    Eight or ten years ago I was training fitness and bodybuilding competitors and for both men and women it’s brutal and honest and good. You get used to it.

  23. I give my male friend compliments about their traits or things I appreciate about their personalities.

    It’s great to build up my friends’ confidence

  25. I love bodybuilders. They always have something nice to say about your body and are very upfront about it.

  27. Man I can’t get a read on others opinion on this, since i see on this very sub “we don’t get compliments” and then when asked directly “Oh we compliment each other all the time!” so I’ll speak for myself.

    I do not get compliments from other men about surface level things. Not on style, and especially not without significant time investment. But when I do get compliments, it’s a result of gained respect – and *that’s* the key. R.E.S.P.E.C.T. And it comes in many forms.

    “I can always trust you to get the job done.”
    “We’re doing trivia? DIBBS ON FLYERMINER!”
    “Hey so im having trouble with ____, how would you do this?”

    I value implied compliments like those a lot, personally. But they can be more difficult to recognize in a moment than something as direct as a comment on physical appearance. They don’t give you an immediate uplifting feeling that something like “Sick jacket dude!” can.

    Many single men seek recognition for their value because they don’t feel they receive it from other valid external sources. They may feel deserving of it, but without receiving it, the feeling of ‘deserving’ cheapens and can become deflated.

    Honestly, what most men I believe are referring to regarding a ‘lack of compliments received’ is direct compliments from the sex of their interest, which has its place in the category but should not define the whole process of sharing compliments. The broad absense of this genre of compliment weighs heavy on the mind of a lot of men, single men in particular (admittedly, self included). They get those kinds of compliments when they are IN a relationship, but the moment they are out of one, the compliments go away, and for some this can lead to an erosion of confidence over time.

    Direct compliments like these are incredibly rare for a lot of straight men because women don’t necessarily feel safe offering them in fear that it won’t end there (probably right without knowing a guy well, but it’s also a feedback loop of no compliments makes the few more special so it leads the guy to think there’s more interest there than there might actually be. If they were more common, they might not think that way. But I digress.)

    This is also one reason that married men or men in dedicated relationships report receiving more compliments from women than when single. They’ve been given the safety stamp of another woman’s trust.

    But between men, our method of communicating our appreciation of the other dude is just fundamentally different than the uplifting gal greeting that women have been brought up to use with each other.

    So all this to say: we compliment each other through our actions and through implied trusts more often than through direct communication.

    As an aside – that tracks, doesn’t it? Everyone knows ‘the dude nod’, and that’s more of an interpreted and implied communication. From my experience and observation, much of how men positively communicate to each other follows that line of thought.

    Tl;dr: we do, just not in the same way women do, and most of us don’t even know we do it. The feeling of getting one from another man isn’t self-evident or identifiable as it is between women. There’s not a fuzzy warm feeling. You have to think about it.

  28. Because contrary to what society might say, ***men are not women***

  29. Gym bros absolutely compliment each other, we all have the body dismorphia so we all know how much we need to hear those words.

    A guy I’ve never spoken to complimented my calves over a week ago and I’m still riding that high. I’m constantly hyping up one kid at the gym that has tree trunk quads and monster calves. He’s the only guy in the gym with bigger calves than me, and I tell him he’s the one reason I’ve started training mine.

  30. The other day at a taproom, I turned to the stranger I had shared a few words with and said “Sir, you are absolutely rocking those freckles, and looking the business doing it.”

    I got to see a stranger light up like a Christmas tree in the month of May.

  33. Men roast each other, but they don’t really mean it.

    Women compliment each other, but they don’t really mean it.

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