You May Also Like
What martial arts/combat sport do you practice?
- November 19, 2023
- 15 comments
What martial arts/combat sport do you practice?
how old were you when you decided to study further?
- February 13, 2023
- 13 comments
how old were you when you decided to study further?
What is your favourite noir thriller / detective / suspense book?
- February 7, 2024
- No comments
Maybe in the vein of John Grisham? A gripping page-turner. Or perhaps something more haunting, with a cool…
50 comments
How lucky I am to be with you
What im cooking on the grill this weekend
The truth
“am i gonna rip this one or carefully ease it into the cushion?”
“the fact I’ve never seen my own face….just reflections and pictures…and unless some Nicholas Cage face off shit happens I never will… it’s kinda sad.”
I just tell my wife what I’m thinking about
My ex asked me this before and I told her “nothing”. This started a debate because I *have* to be thinking about *something*. I told her I’m quite literally empty minded right now; not a thought at all.
The first time started a light argument. The many times after she finally understood I’m able to clear my mind. Or I would answer with some lore/back story from a game I was playing at the time.
You babe, always thinking if you.
(What I Want to do to you a thousand times a day)
Say “That’s not good English.”
How hot your mum is
Other women.
Me- My wife.
“Butts”
Dat ass
Double decker cheeseburger and fries.
“The world is small, nasty and complicated and everybody dies alone”
If she gets the reference, marry her
Boobies.
Why [not to say what you are thinking about 🤣](https://youtu.be/A5UcEvDK3Tk)
Am I hungry or just thirsty?
How long does it take a giraffe to puke?
“If I was the captain of a mythical ship in the Pirates of the Caribbean universe, what would it’s special power be and what name would I give it?”
I’m in my nothing box.
Warthogs
Reply with what I’m thinking about
– nothing
– I think I need an oil change
– calculating how high that bridge is
– counting teslas we pass
– counting Harleys we pass
– she has a nice butt
– you have a nice butt
– I have a nice butt
– a dog will shit the rug if we don’t get home soon
– allergies are killing me
– calculating years to retirement
Abe Lincoln vs. Teddy Roosevelt in their prime, no weapons
She won’t have any more questions
“So, any food planted in Narnia can be a seed for a bush; like plant toffee and you get a toffee bush. We also have normal animals as opposed to Talking Animals in that world. Would killing and grilling a pig and burying the meal then make a BBQ bush? And would plant-grown pork ribs be vegan? I mean, they grew off a plant from a seed and *the seed* wasn’t vegan, but the sausage fruits? They gotta be vegan, right?”
Or “nothing.”
If you stuck a banana in an orange then planted it would it grow a banana orange hybrid tree or an orange banana hybrid tree?
If I stare at the ceiling long enough will it forms pictures like clouds?
If I put protein powder in my fruit smoothie is it still considered a fruit smoothie or a meat smoothie?
Is squash called squash because it looks squashed or is squash called squash because someone sat on it?
Whenever anyone asks me this I say “all the things on my to do list that I need to take care of today/tomorrow”. This is an acceptable answer to everyone because we are all busy and all have a ton of stuff to do.
If a person says oh can I help, or sorry are you stressed out, or whatnot …I always say nah I’m good, just thinking things over. 🙂
Another good/safe answer is “I’m thinking about what sounds good for dinner tonight”. If it’s nighttime, say you’re thinking about breakfast. Everyone can relate to that too! If your GF says oh, what do you want for dinner then? Say “so many things sound good to me right now…is there anything you’re craving?”.
Food is always a safe and easy topic if you’re just trying to get away from that annoying question. 🤷♀️ Men aren’t that complex. My guy friends always say this “I’m thinking is it time for lunch yet and do I want a burrito or a burger?”. 🤣🤣
How many licks *does* it take to get to the center of a Tootsie pop?
“Huh?”
“Pizza”
“The ingenious idea, of some Sumerian scribe, to not rotate the up->down writing, and read it sideways, but simply write in the same direction as we read in.”
“How do porcupines copulate with them being so… thorny?”
“Your eyes are so mesmerisingly -color-”
“What? I just zoned out for a minute”
“Palpatine was far more interesting as chancellor, than he was as emperor, right?”
What is this? The Spanish Inquisition?
What’s the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
Well if I told you, I would have to kill you,but that’s what I was thinking anyway?🤔🤔
When my wife asks I usually start into some random boring and technical explanation about something I’m working on, trying to fix or make. She stopped asking years ago. lol
Driving along in the country. We passed a horse farm. A few minutes later I said “hmm..”
​
She said “What are you thinking about?”
​
Me: “Oh nothing”
​
Her: “What was the hmm about, though?”
​
Me: “Horse saddles must need to be fitted to the rider’s ass and the horses’ back, so there must have been some specialist back in the day who was like a back-tack-ass specialist who knew ratios and shit”
​
Her: “Ok.”
*”Your bum.”*
After that she’ll stop asking that question.
(I’m looking out the window zoning out) wife “hey hello I’m talking to you”. Me “oh sorry, I was thinking”. About what. I was thinking what it would be like if a T-Rex just walked down the street and ate the guy watering his lawn. Anyways, what up?
4 couples were hanging out. Women upstairs drinking wine, guys downstairs watching hockey.
Every 20 minutes one of them would come into the basement asking us “What are you guys doing?” Watching hockey. “What are you guys talking about?” Nothing. “Yeah, but what are you talking about?” Work. “But what are guys doing?” Nothing. “But what are you doing?” Nick just poured some beer. “Yeah, but what are you DOING!”
Nothing.
How long do you think it takes for a giraffe to throw up.
Death metal guitar riffs…….. and your juicy ass.
Is a parry a strike from a block? Or is a parry blocking, then countering with the same strike? Would it be easier to just dodge instead?
how bad I want you!!!
“I’m thinking Arby’s”…
How they should have taught them more about vikings.
I have a full beard and haven’t shaved in decades. Would my clone have remnants of this? If so probably only if we both worked at the circus..
Same thing as every night, Pinky.
Foxworthy: “I wish I had a beer and I wish that I could see something nekkid.”
The answer is always “nothing”, but I get in trouble for that so I make up something weirdly specific.
“The socioeconomic conditions of the Armenian people before and after their massacre and the subsequent delay of Turkey entering the world stage”
Dicks lots and lots of dicks
Like Richard Nixon and Andy Dick and dick van dyke
Food