Hello there, I(F30) had a discussion with a friend (M42) who told me that if He doesn’t fall un love with the girl right away (or in the first few weeks), it never happens… But at the same time He said that the only thing He was looking for until recently was that the girl was Beautiful and good in bed.
As He mentionned that most men are thinking the same, can you rely to this ?
Ps: sorry, my english isn’t great
6 comments
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On the surface, what you wrote about your M42 friend, is that he has his priorities: looks and sex, which has been something men have prioritized since forever, so your comment ‘most men are thinking the same’ has some validity. Men are wired differently than women, and of course there is a variation in HOW important these things are to any individual.
Important to also note that men are human too – so many other attributes in terms of attraction come into play here: intellect, sense of humor, social skills, other aspects of personality, financial goals, life goals…
About the first question, he not falling in love ‘right away’, well that may well be true for him but not necessarily ‘most’.
There’s a difference between love and lust.
As an older man, my day isn’t ruled by hormones and the ever-present biological need to mate. Thus, I can divorce “love” from “the act of sex.”
That said, your friend is just a jaded old bastard who uses women for his disposable pleasure and nothing more. He’s stunted his own emotional growth by focusing on two things that don’t matter: perceived beauty and sex. I doubt he’d understand what actual love is if it walked up and slapped him in the face, and I certainlywouldn’t use him as a standard in male interaction.
The definition of “falling in love” is different things to different people, but only an idiot would put a timer on it.
Different in that I am more confident, and allow myself to discuss emotions and Security. To me, it means falling in love in a deeper level than I could have as a teen. I also feel more secure and enriched in these loves.
I think the issue here is in the definition. If you’re asking if most men *only* care about looks and sex, I’d say that’s not true at all and very few men feel that way. If you’re asking if most men care about looks and sex more than other qualities, or more than women do, I’d say that’s true on average, but how much more it matters is highly variable.
Edit: and to your original question: no, in terms of what I look for I’m mostly the same as when I was younger
Your friend has no idea what love is. He’s probably confusing lust for love.
Most men do not think at all like him. He’s pretty childish. If not for his age, I’d peg him at about 18-22. I think most people grow beyond this view the moment they end a major relationship and/or stop being very physically attractive.