What were the hardships? What were the nice sides? Any nice memories?

21 comments

  1. I grew up with a single mom but also my grandma (her mom) who helped out. I always wished I had a dad and was jealous of those who did, but I didnt really know what I was missing. As a female, I would have likely had much better self confidence and not gotten into some bad situations that I did had I had a good dad (not all dads are good dads though of course). I was and still am really close with my mom so thats a nice side, I may have been close with her either way. I used to play video games with her and stay up late. She gave me a lot of freedom growing up and I could pretty much do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. My dad paid 0 child support (was in and out of jail, on the run, etc) so my mom worked a lot and I always missed her. She used to work 12 hour night shifts and my grandma would watch me then my mom would be sleeping during the day. I would be home alone a lot as a kid (my grandma worked too). I was also an only child.

  3. I was raised by a single mom in the 70’s, which was much different than today. We didn’t have much and watching my mom struggle wasn’t fun. My dad was absent. The only place she could afford to live was in a ghetto. I was very loved and was fortunate to have an aunt who was like a second mom to me.

    Being a latchkey kid, I had freedom from a young age. I learned to be resourceful and responsible. I had neighborhood friends in the same boat as me so we watched out for each other. It was such a different time than now.

    While we didn’t have much, she found fun things to do. Maybe we’d ride the bus to the mall and people watch or go for a walk somewhere. Like I said, it was a different time and the pressures were much different.

  4. My mom was never meant to be a parent. Especially a single one. She has dealt with mental illness and took it out on me and my brother. She had a son before she met my dad but gave him up for adoption. I was actually jealous of him for a long time when I was younger because his parents are the best.

    My mom brought many guys home to our shared room in the apartmentthat we went to after my parentsdivorced. I got kicked to the couch. My brother had his own room and sometimes would have me sleep in there. She attempted suicide and made sure to let us know that it was because of us. Whenever an adult would want to help us, she would cut contact.

    She is still extremely toxic. And believes that she was the best mom in the world.

    Because of this, I want to smother everyone. I go overboard. I don’t take care of me because I want to be Superwoman to everyone else.

  6. I felt like my Mom was never there and had to grow up fast. I get it, I understand and I don’t fault her for that decision but yeah, I don’t really remember as much of her physical presence in my life as a child.

  8. Rough. My mother never disclosed who my birth father was. She was angry and resentful to be a parent at all – and made sure I knew it. I was worthless, a regret, she should have aborted me, etc. Was not a good time. She was emotionally, verbally and even sometimes physically abusive. 0/10 do not recommend.

  11. My biomom should have given me yo the people I consider my “real” parents after my grandma, who was my main caretaker died. She wasn’t fit to be a parent and allowed her family to abuse me while she stood by wringing her hands.

  12. Oh I’m so thankful my mom was my only parent.

    I tried to rekindle a relationship with my bio dad as an adult and he’s the most collosal assh*le I’ve ever met. I’m so blessed to have had a peaceful childhood with my loving mother. Who cares if I didn’t have new clothes or electronics or whatever. Small price to pay.

  13. I become the defacto second Mom. I’ve changed about as many diapers, as many late nights, made as many bottles. My Mom kept having kids after me. Even though she never stayed with my father. Sometimes I’d know she was going on a date with him and 9 months later I’d have another sister.

    I’m 1 of 6 and the oldest. I love my sisters. And my youngest is only 4. I’m still babysitting her and changing her diapers. Because my Mom doesn’t really show them love.

  14. I had a good childhood. My dad wasn’t entirely absent but we never had a good relationship. My mum was always an attentive and intentional parent. She made sure we could do activities and taught us how to be functional (and decent, I think) adults. We were poor for a long time, but I don’t blame my mum for that. She went back to school and came out with a professional job, so it was worthwhile. We never saw what a healthy relationship looks like though, and all of us have had shitty relationships. But I think we also aren’t afraid to be alone because the standard couple / nuclear family wasn’t a thing for us, so we also have all built pretty independent lives. Two of us are single parents now though, so I guess there’s that. I can see why many dysfunctional people end up as single parents, but not all are dysfunctional and I don’t think the dysfunction is usually a result of being a single parent, but maybe exacerbated by it?

  16. Depends on which parent… my mom, it was miserable. When with my Dad, the best thing ever.🤷‍♀️

  17. My mom worked two jobs M-F so she could have weekends with us. I didn’t see her until late on the weekdays but first thing Saturday morning we were out of the house and doing fun things. She was an active parent, always at games or recitals, she used to set up vacations for the three of us, take us on shopping trips and always made sure we had a roof over our heads, a hot meal and a warm bed. She worked hard raising us so personally to me I never felt like I was missing a father. Sometimes I do feel like she worked too much but now as a single mom, I understand. The only hardships that I ever saw was when she lost her jobs during the recession. She sold all my jewelry to keep us afloat and she’s never forgiven herself for it even though I love told her I don’t care. I know she went through some things but she always hid them from us since they weren’t our burdens to carry. She’s my best friend and my babies best friend.

  18. So it was rough, but likely would’ve been rougher if they had stayed together

  19. Very hard. My dad left my mom for another woman after she’d been a stay at home mom for 10 years. Money was very tight. My grandparents had offered to send her to school, but she refused. If it hadn’t been for them, we would have been homeless. Any rare extras that we got were because of them.

    My mom is extremely emotionally immature. She never supported anything I did and was emotionally abusive. She posts a lot about her kids (my brother and I) never coming to see her, but hasn’t reflected on why. My sister has been manipulated into supporting her financially.

    I’m divorced with primary custody now, but I was very careful not to end up like she did.

  21. It was good, my dad is constantly in pain so that made it difficult at times but it was great other than that. He was 61 when I graduated high school but he was always very involved. I knew I could go to him with mostly anything. I’ve been told that he and I are the same person but gender swapped. We have a great relationship and he’s like my best friend.

    My mom lived 6 hours away and I didn’t see her much, the longest I went without seeing her was about 2 years. We have an okay relationship. I think if I lived with my mom I would have been very unhappy.

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