How do you deal with some people not being in your life anymore?

6 comments

1. I just assure myself that it’s for a good reason. Whether it was their choice or mine, clearly we weren’t compatible and usually when I look back on the relationship/friendship I notice a lot of red flags that I ignored or got used to. Stepping back from it all allows me to see that these people were not that great for me most of the time. A couple of friendships I grieve and genuinely miss the person though. In that case, just accept it and focus on meeting new people.

2. I was the one that cut contact with all those that are not in my life anymore. And I feel that my life is better with them not in it. I wish I could remove all contact with one other person, but, sharing a child makes that extremely difficult.

3. I get so attached to people and really pick up on the nuances of their personalities and love to pay close attention to their likes and dislikes and I realize this is due to how deeply I love but also because I am such a people pleaser by nature.

   I always feel like I’ve done my best in friendships so when they fade out, I feel sad. This is also due to major abandonment issues.

4. I just move on and focus on the people I actually have in my life now. Relationships end all the time and for a plethora of different reasons, and even the loveliest people might only be in our lives for a brief period. It’s just a normal part of life and something that’s best to get used to.

   If we had a close friendship, of course I’ll miss them at first even if I was the one who chose to fade/cut them out. But there are also so many others and so many other things that I love here and now, so it’s just dumb to be stuck on the ones that I don’t. I’ll still remember them fondly and (unless something bad happened) think our time together was worth every second, I just won’t dwell on them.

5. Looking back at certain friendships, I’m at peace with it. It was either we were going in different directions and we drifted apart or we ended the friendship over issues building up that finally spilled over. There have been occasions where I felt my life improved without them being in it.

6. Life ebbs and flows; it doesn’t worry me as I have met so many interesting, inspiring and loving people. If I stuck to the same group then how would I ever learn and grow?