I’ve (30M) been seeing my (28F) FWB for awhile now, probably 3-4 months. We don’t really talk during the week, we just get together on the weekends and hookup. That’s the extent of it, once in awhile we’ll go on a casual date to get out of the house. Do I owe it to her and have to tell her I go on other dates with women? I haven’t in a few months and she’s the only woman I’ve hooked up with but I just don’t know what’s the right thing to do? Or it’s none of her business since we’re not in a relationship at all? I feel stuck.
TLDR: I’m not sure if I should tell my FWB I go on dates with other woman and now feel stuck between a rock and a hard place.
24 comments
IMO, yes she needs to know. Would you want to know if she’s dating? I think FWB implies the possibility of still dating other people, but it’s best to be 100% clear on expectations in the relationship.
It’s always better to be explicit than to risk hurting the person you’re with in some way. You don’t need to give details, you just need to make sure you both are on the same page about this not being exclusive and you both are open to dating other people.
If you aren’t dating or exclusive you don’t need to. She shouldn’t be making assumptions
I would tell her to be clear, but it’s kind of implied when you’re FWB. She should assume you are, and you should assume she is as well.
Do you need to tell one friend you are hanging out with another friend? Of course not. FWB means it’s none of her business. If she wants to know she can ask.
You don’t owe anyone anything.
Assuming you two have had a clear conversation on the expectations for your arrangement, I think it’s only relevant if you plan to or end up sleeping with one of your dates. She should know so she can get tested.
You don’t owe her anything but if you want to be honest to just be transparent let her know the FWB is just that and you are going on dates with other women. If she has an issue with it then u decide what u want to do. If she says no problem, “I’m also going on dates”, then that clears it to where each of you stand.
I think it depends on the terms you agreed to. If its DADT then no. If you didn’t specify probably yes, and then decide the terms of what information should be shared then. If she asks, then obviously yes.
If she’s just a booty call, and both of you are on the same page with no other expectations, no need to tell her.
But, if one of these other women turn out to be “the one” and you and she have an expectation of monogamy, then you need to end the booty calls.
Implied dating, but I would tell her. Just as she should tell you
If your asking it sounds like your gut is concerned it might be an issue. IMO it couldn’t hurt just to check in and ask basically exactly the same question you asked here.
Don’t tell her and don’t expect her to tell you, just complicates things.
Just don’t be upset if and when she wants to go exclusive with somebody else.
if i learned anything, it’s that when it comes to no-strings attached sex.. .there are always strings attached.
you should tell her.
Clarity and disclosure can save grief later.
Tell her. It’s either she’s cool with it or can’t take it. If she’s cool with it, you sleep sound at night, not feeling like a cheat. She’s not cool with it, you know you need to re-assess your relationship
Yes, you can transmit diseases even if you wear a condom. She has the right to know, out of courtesy for her health.
You should tell her because it’s a possible STI risk for her that she should be aware of. Also, you should get tested regularly, and ideally immediately after contact with new partners. Introducing contact with other people to someone without their knowledge or consent is not cool. How would you feel if you gave her HIV or something?
Also, why wouldn’t you tell her? It just feels gross not to imo. Like what, you want to deceive her or something? You want to lead her on? You want to keep her in the dark about your true intentions? Idk but I wouldn’t hide it personally; she should know and you two should be on the same page. And that’s not even taking into account the reason to tell her for STI safety, which overrides this second paragraph anyway.
Yes, absolutely, I’ve never had a FWB situation that didn’t lead to feelings on at least one side of equation. It’s the respectful thing to do. I think it’s quite a toxic mindset to not thing you have to. You owe it to her, as a mutual respecting human being regardless of any other labels.
You can if you want but I don’t think you’re morally obligated too. Dating others is implied in FWB. I will say if you end up going on multiple dates with the same woman, you should tell them you have a FWB. It’s a deal-breaker for some people.
Are you using protection or leaving it up to your partner? That is a discussion that needs to be had first. If you aren’t using a condom, you better be telling them.
When you’re fucking multiple people you need to be transparent about it because you’re involving them all with your sexual health. You should be getting tested regularly.
I agree with the health concern. I would want to know if my FWB is sleeping around. Ideally it would have been discussed and agreed upon already.
Does she know you are only FWB?