How I learned to listen

Back in high school, I wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed. I could barely remember and truly understand what my classmates talked about. Whatever they said went through one ear and out the other no matter how hard I focused. I was slow so nobody wanted to talk with me because they’d have to repeat themselves. But I noticed I was pretty good at taking notes of what the teacher said. When I did, I could often recall and understand the material much deeper than anyone else. I wondered, could I apply this to my conversations? After writing out the conversations I had in my mind, my social skills exploded. I was able to quickly understand and talk about my friends’ thoughts and feelings, making them more keen on talking with me.

To listen better, visualise the words as they say them being written on a notepad. It could help to narrate the words in your mind as they say them. By listening better you’ll become aware of people’s feelings and thoughts for topics they care about. So you can talk about them to start conversations they’ll want to take part in.