So I’m pretty shy in person, and idk how to bring up that I’m really into…… butt stuff. 😂 Normally I just keep it to myself until they ask me if I’m willing to try it, and then I surprise them. So idk, what’s the best way to broach this subject that isn’t super awkward? I don’t just mean that I enjoy it, but like how do I tell my bf that this is actually a big kink of mine.

34 comments
  1. You’re gonna be really surprised when you do… just be straight up with the guy… we like that…

  2. Tell him you’re shy to talk about it but you found a website that lets you do a quiz and you only see results where you and your partner match… I can recommend mojo upgrade or Spicer, best thing that ever happened to my sex life

  3. If he’s your boyfriend, it’s definitely easier than someone you’re just seeing. Next time you have sex and you’re both just laying there, chilling or having your downtime shortly after; bring it up whilst the hormones are still flowing through both of your brains. Say “next time do you think maybe we could try anal/something different?”

    Most guys would jump at the idea of this anyway. If he doesn’t, I’m sure he’d be willing to try it at least.

    Bringing it up after sex is easiest because you’re both feeling really connected and happy and your body’s got good chemicals and hormones racing through it and both of your confidence levels are elevated.

  4. Just be upfront. If they’re down, they’ll tell ya. If not, you have to respect it.

  5. As a guy with a thing for feet first and butt stuff second… I just usually try to bring it up as soon as any sexual stuff comes to discussion. Normally I’ll ask my person what they are into or I will straight up just start the sentence with ” how do you feel about ____?”

    99% of the time its a hard no and end of discussion which usually leads to end of what ever everything is which sucks but.. at least I find out now rather then when I’ve attached and built something?

    Its awkward no matter what way you do it, but I’ve never once ever had a girl come to me to tell me that they have a kink or a fetish and honestly it would make my freaken day if someone did because then I could actually feel less scared of what I like and it would show they have needs and wants just as I do. I suppose it levels the playing field subconsciously.

  6. Real men don’t judge because everyone has a kink or two they also have.let the conversation happen naturally and when it comes up let them know a little bit let them unwrap the surprise

  7. when i was with my ex it went like this:

    (we just kissed and talked about deep stuff for 5 hours straight)

    me: “do you have any kinks?”

    her: “i like to be choked. breathplay and such. you?”

    me: “i like feet.”

    her: “haha”

    her: “wait, really?”

    me: “yeah.”

    her: “I thought you were joking!”

    me: “no.”

    her: “want a fj? ive never done this before but …”

    me: “lol ok”

    Just ask about his kinks first, then bring up yours. If the chemistry is right it should work.

  8. While he’s hitting it doggy style, pause, pull him out and direct him to the other hole. 99 times out of 100 he will be stoked

  9. You’ve never had a conversation about kinks or preferences with a guy? Or is it just you’re to shy for that specific kink? I always have conversations with a partner about what we want in bed.

  10. Just tell them straight up that you like to be f’d in the ass. If he really likes you he’ll give you what you want. If he acts disinterested then yall are incompatible and you should probably find someone else.

  11. Maybe try asking him first. A girl did that to me and it got my attention very quickly

  12. Just be direct about it. Guys are not mind readers, most of the time we need to be told what you like and don’t like in simple straight forward terms. If you tell him “I like anal”, you’ll probably get the response you’re looking for.

  13. I would always let the lady lead the conversation on that. I’d be too worried about completely misreading the tone.

  14. If you’re into something, let him know when you’re making out.

    I highly doubt you’re gonna get turned down.

  15. Oddly enough I have a lot of male friends that are not into butt stuff with women. Some of them have horror stories of the girl not cleaning/prepping well because *surprise* not all women know about that. Also I have some guy friends who said the girl literally took a nice hefty shit during it because *surprise* not all women know you should generally do it AFTER a bowel movement. Hey some people just don’t care and some do, it is what it is but some people are put off by different things and NOT ALL GUYS ARE INTO ANAL. So there’s ways to approach it. You can be upfront and ask them if they’ve ever done it and enjoyed it or you could surprise em one day while you’re fooling around by having a plug in you, that’s how my last submissive brought it to the table.

  16. There’s an app called Spicer that works kind of like tinder where you swipe right on kinks you like and then you match them with your partner if they like the same things, I’ve used it with my gf. Other than that just say it, I much appreciate upfrontness personally

  17. I just had this conversation with my SO. I waited until after sex cuddles and started asking him about his fantasies. Then I slipped in there that I love anal when it’s done well. The next time we had sex, it was done perfectly.

  18. Just bring up casual conversation about fantasies and kinks, maybe some time after you’ve had sex and you’re just lying there talking. Let him know you’re embarrassed or shy about it and then just say it. It’s really not that unusual and nothing to really be shy about imo.

  19. Pretty much every guy I’ve been with want to do that stuff so hel probably be in to it

  20. Flowing the conversation into the topic naturally could reduce awkwardness. You could talk to him about sex in general and then narrow the conversation down to kinks, and then bring up your own kinks. But beyond that, just don’t be afraid of being awkward, it’s an unavoidable part of social interaction. Let yourself feel the cringe, swim through it, and take a deep breath on the other side.

  21. Take the lead in bed one day and just go for it. He’ll ask if that’s something you’re into, and you can say yes.

  22. Maybe starting with your stats might help others advise you. So what are they?

  23. As a fellow butt stuff lover, I usually bring it up during the kink talk.

  24. Here’s the plan,

    If you’re giving him a blow job keep saying that you want him to fuck your ass(Something simaler), just go into freak mode, it’ll catch him off guard and he will likely get turned on even more lol

  25. Get a butt plug that lights up and before you have intercourse pleasure yourself with it while telling him how bad you want him instead of that butt plug.

  26. Have you considered sending him a dirty picture? Trust me as a guy myself it will make his day! buy a cute little plug and some coconut oil, then send him a pic. If he doesn’t come running over to your place he’s a fool.

  27. Bring it up while having a drink, once you actually know the person. You would be surprised what people are open to once you have the conversation

  28. If it’s your boyfriend, u should be comfortable telling him anything! Just tell him where to put it and he’ll be fine with it. Doesn’t need to be more complicated than that.

  29. When I was on dating apps 9/10 I would get asked by the woman how big my dick was and if I was circumcised or uncircumcised. Asking if someone liked anal is no biggie

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