When to go for a kiss?

22 comments

1. For context I’m a widower who lost his wife quite young, I’m getting back into the dating scene after being in a weird dating/bang buddy relationship that didn’t make me feel guilty, I want to give it another shot , I’d love some advice here, since it appears 10 years will rust a guy up.

   So you’re at a house party, or at the end of a date, you’re still chatting at the door, or everyone is leaving, but you two are still there talking and laughing, when should I go for a kiss?

   My late wife made the first move, since she claimed I didn’t read the signs, this girl I was dating did the same thing, flat out asking me if she could kiss me, we’re no longer together, but still bang-buddies.

2. Asking is not bad. Consent is all the rage.

3. It’s fine to ask – consent is important, even for kissing I (46M) have not been criticized for asking to kiss my date since returning to the whole dating “thing.” Being a gentleman will never go out of style…

4. shiiiit, i can’t speak from experience.

   But if she’s at the door stalling for time, then she must want something.

5. I wouldn’t ask for consent or ask for a kiss. That’s just a mood killer to be honest. Make eye contact with her, and her eyes will tell you to kiss her. It’s like how in movies where they say ” you’ll know what to do when the time is right”. Same thing applies here.

   Flirt with her and slowly build up to more physical contact. 👍

6. Fuck no who told you that crap? Consent is one of the most precious respectable things. It gives some woman such a boost of respect and attraction for you. 10/10 would recommend

7. Just ask. It’s not that big of a deal and it won’t kill the mood

8. “Would it be ok to kiss you?” When you’re feeling it between you.

9. This “consent” stuff is a virtue signal going too far. I totally agree with it for certain subjects, of course. But damn, how far does it go these days? How long until every Redditor is parroting “you should get consent with a notarized drafted document signed by a minimum of 3 witnesses and have a waiting period of 5 to 7 business days before it becomes legally binding” just to hold a door open for someone? Seems… overapplied.

   Simpler solution from a simpler time… Don’t rush the kiss. I didn’t kiss my wife until our 4th date. The signs were so obvious. And if the girl can’t wait, either she’ll make the move or you dodged a bullet.

10. I don’t think I’ve ever asked and have always relied on feeling the atmosphere. If you aren’t good at feeling the atmosphere, I’d try to do something lighter than a kiss. Maybe a small touch on her arm/hand or whatever. Def not in a sensitive area.

    Stand closer to her. Close the gap. If she backs away and reintroduces space, then don’t kiss. Then just keep slowly getting closer and closer. Do it slowly to give her time to react. Hold her gaze and see if she holds yours.

    If all is still well then go in slowly for a kiss. Again slow gives her time to react.

    You can always ask too. I’ve never done that and always felt it’d be weird. I know it’s prob not but I don’t operate that way.

11. There is no precise moment or magic formula. You are over-thinking this.

    Just relax and let whatever is going to happen take place.

12. Just ask. Chicks love it.

13. 30+ female here. I can confirm that when a guy asks if he can kiss me, sure I’m caught off guard when it happens, but I enjoyed it. They were smart enough to feel out the flirtation, I just didn’t think in the moment that it was what was going through his head. Sometimes it’s exactly the push that is needed. Otherwise if it’s a no, you don’t have the awkward moment of retracting the lean in.

14. Woman here but i thought maybe a female perspective might also be welcome with this type of question.

    Continue to talk and laugh casually but then do the ‘triangle’ trick where you look at each eye then down to her lips then back to the eyes while smiling. Get a feel of how she responds to that, she might start stumbling on her words, lose her train of thought or ramble about something to hide her nervousness.

    Escalate by looking at her lips for longer then if she doesn’t pull away (pay attention to body language) then lean in 70% of the way. If she doesn’t pull away, then lean in 80%. She should be the one closing the remaining 20% and that is your way of getting consent without ruining the moment by asking if you can kiss her. Take your time with this, the longer this process happens the more sexual tension you build and the better the kiss will be! Hope that helps

15. By not worrying about signs. Just go for it. If I’m feeling a girl, I just go for the kiss and let her turn away if she doesn’t want to. 90% of the time, she’ll kiss me back. If she doesn’t she’s not interested. Big whoop, plenty fish in the sea.

16. Go with the “I really wanna kiss you right now”

    They’ll give you consent or not.

    If they laugh or scold you for not being a “real man” and just going for it, get out and be glad you dodged a bullet. No way I’m going to be a ‘real man’ and just go for it when I know at any moment she can later claim she didn’t WANT me to go for it.

    Ask. Or tell. “After dinner, I’m going to miss you. Just in case you were wondering. It looked like you were wondering.”

17. If you have trouble reading body language, definetly ask. It isn’t the worst option out there. This is particularly true if you’re trying to kiss a woman you just met a few hours ago.

18. You can lean into it 90% and allow her to make up the other 10% if she wants to kiss you

19. *”When to go for a kiss?”*

    5 years from now.

20. When there is a natural lull in the conversation, maintain eye contact, if she holds eye contact that’s a good sign, make a alight move in, unless she pulls away go for the kiss

21. I usually go for it after 5 +/- 2 signs of interest. Beyond that, cowabunga it is.

22. When jason durlo other side comes on