My 29F fiancé 28M has been putting a lot less effort into our relationship. When we first started dating we would make it a point to go on a date every week just us two. About a year ago, we moved and we live very close to his college friends. Every weekend, he just wants to hangout with his college friends and we really don’t go on dates anymore. I’m a nurse and work 12 hour shifts and every other weekend. On weekends I’m working, he spends the whole entire weekend out partying. Sometimes he doesn’t come home until 4-5am, despite the fact that I need to leave for work at 6.
When I’m off he includes me in his plans but it is pretty much me just hanging out with a bunch of guys. He makes no effort anymore to take me on dates. My birthday weekend I had to beg him to have it be just us for one night. The rest of my birthday weekend, he kept finding ways to invite other people out with us. On top of this, he has completely stopped making an effort to take care of himself. He eats fast food most days, binge drinks on the weekends, and doesn’t workout. I’m finding myself increasingly unattracted to him.
Our wedding is a year from now and we’ve already made several expensive deposits on a venue and vendors. If I knew our relationship would take this turn I would not have said yes to marrying him. Honestly the center of our relationship is our sex life which is definitely very active and makes up a little bit for where it’s lacking.
How do I go about handling this situation?
5 comments
Couples therapy?
Losing a couple deposits is still cheaper than a divorce. Think about it. He sounds like a nightmare.
Talk to him, but it’s better to lose money on the deposit than waist your time in a marriage that isn’t working because you both can’t communicate your needs.
He’s showing you who he is. Believe him. He doesn’t seem to care about you apart from the sex. He likes being with his friends more than your intimacy. If I were you I’d be glad I realized these issues before getting married. It’s emotionally and financially cheaper to break up now
Talk to him another the issues. If nothing changes the deposits are still cheaper than a divorce