Am I overreacting please tell me

6 comments

1. Everyone has a bucket list.

2. Yes. If I had my choice, I’d be the Bionic Woman. It’s not real. It’s probably how a lot of men think…like some gal somewhere is just waiting for him? Yeah, right. In their own mind. You have been together 12 years. He loves you. You love him. All is fair in Fantasy Land.

3. I’m 100% against joking with a spouse about cheating on them. It’s insensate at best. And if it’s not a joke, let him know you’ll be divorcing him as soon as he gets a diagnosis with a high mortality rate since you now know he’ll start cheating then.

4. My husband had cancer, it never occurred to him to cheat just because he might’ve died!! His priority was making sure the kids and I would be ok, not focusing on getting his dick wet.
   I would have as it sit down chat with hubby and talk to him about how upset it made you feel. Joke or not it was a very insensitive thing to say. I’m sure if he really thought about he would say something else.

5. There is a huge difference between what people say, and what they actually do. This is particularly the case when it is an off the cuff, not thought out response. Further, your husband is not dying.

   Here is something your husband did express: that he is not completely satisfied with his life. Are you? Are there things you would like to do that you are not doing?

   For me, I would like to get certified in hang gliding. I dream about it, and basically don’t have the opportunity.

   So, if you can change gears, why not have the conversation with your husband about what he would like to do with his life, that he is not, and what you would like to do with YOUR life, that you are not. It could be an opening to live a fuller life.

6. Here is my non- Reddit type of advice that is also non- Dr. Phil.

   Only you know deep down if you are overreacting. No one on here can gauge that BUT you. Please try to let the dust settle a little bit. Acknowledge your emotions, let yourself feel them, then calm yourself – if you feel like you need to talk to him then you will be able to do so calmly and rationally.

   No one on this forum knows the intricacies of your 12 year relationship with him. Not a single person. In general, though, joking about cheating is inappropriate- most of the time.

   I joked with my wife that it would be nice to have a second wife- her response? “Yeah it would as long as she can cook, clean, do laundry and take the dog out” We had a good laugh about it. But we are comfortable enough to joke about it- she was also the one who told me she wanted to open a brothel lol! We have been married 25 years first marriage for both of us.

   What I sense here- I do not think this is over-reacting but it’s magnifying something beyond what it was. He made a stupid comment, yes- But you are allowing yourself to now question the whole 12 years you have been together? Is that rational? Is it really true that you now doubt all those years together?

   This is why i said take time to feel the emotions, then let them go and be calm and if you feel the the need to talk to him jusg say “I feel thst this was inappropriate” and tell him why.