All my life I have struggled to make genuine friendships with people. I thought this would change in college but I’m still experiencing a lack of solid friends. I’m super friendly, respectful, a great listener, love trying new things, pretty optimistic and outgoing. People have always viewed me as being a really nice person and I typically make a decent amount of in-class friends. Yet, these in-class friends never turn into genuine connections and it has me question myself and whether I am the problem. I do try to invite people to outings and include others in my life as much as possible, but these efforts are never returned. I am also pretty involved on campus and try to make friends wherever I am. It just seems like no one really thinks about me all that much or really wants me around. I have come to terms with this, although it’s hard, and have realized that as much as I try, making friends is difficult for me.
I will note that I do have one best friend. In truth, that’s really all I need. So really, I shouldn’t be complaining all that much because I do have one solid person in my life.
I also do select people I interact with and let into my life carefully. I’m pretty good at telling who I will jive with and who I won’t from the first few interactions. This makes my pool of people smaller for sure.
I’ve always wanted to be apart of a community of genuine, kind-hearted, and loving individuals and I had hoped to find it in college. I’m half-way done with my undergrad and I’m starting to freak out.
I was wondering if anyone else experiences this difficulty. Sometimes I feel like I’m the only one and will live a very lonely life despite my endless efforts.
3 comments
I honestly relate to this 100%. I truly haven’t had any friendships stick throughout my whole life. I’ve always had an abundance of acquaintances but no friends I could ever feel truly connected w/. That I could hit up whenever, ask to hangout freely etc…
My “friendships” always fade away after the major thing that frequently brought us together ends.
For example, all my Highschool “friendships” faded away after Graduation. Since we no longer would see each other on a daily basis anymore.
Same thing with Previous “Friendships” at work. Once I quit or they quit. The friendship is gone bc we no longer see each other on a regular basis
Same thing with a Club I joined at school last semester. Friendships faded bc we no longer have club meetings during summer.
I have tried to keep up with few people in past through text or social media, but conversations usually dwindle out fast. I’ve never rlly had any people try to Check up on me or keep in touch.
I think I’ve come to the realization/acceptance that i’ll just be a temporary friend to people. And never someone they find interesting enough to stay in touch with.
Well, why should people stick with being friends with you ? Being lonely is not a valid reason to stay in a friendship. What actual value do you bring to your friendships ? The reality is if you aren’t providing value or impacting people’s lives, then people will replace you with others who can do so. The reality is others attach you to the value that you bring.
This is me and sometimes they seem like they will be a close friend because we share interests, humor, and go out to places together and talk to them all of the time about anything and then poof you’re nothing to them and toss you aside like you were always a nothing to them.