I’ve been dating this girl since I was 14 and she was 15 and we are now 17 and 18. We’ve had our whole life planned out together for years now and just couldn’t wait to get married and start our real lives together after high school, but now I’m starting to wonder if I’m just losing interest.
We argue more than we used do, just little things here and there that don’t matter, and sometimes I even just feel like I have to force myself to hang out with her. I don’t get nearly as excited as I used to when seeing her, and don’t look forward to dates nearly as much anymore either. Sometimes when I’m with her, I just feel like I’m with any other friend and we don’t connect anymore and struggle to talk to each other with finding topics to engage about. She’s been getting upset with me a lot recently because I haven’t gotten a chance to work on her dad’s car to help restore it which I was originally excited to do, but now it just seems so forced that I’m not sure if I’ll even enjoy doin it, which scares me considering working on cars is one of my favorite things to do.
Im just so scared that I’d be making the wrong decision to call it off but at the same time I don’t want to keep doing this and causing us both more frustration and pain. How do I tell her that I’m just not sure how I feel about us anymore?
4 comments
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You’re kids, if it doesn’t work it doesn’t work. You have your whole 20s ahead of you to enjoy.
It seems that you are in your first major relationship. There isn’t an inherent problem with that, as you have to start somewhere in the realm of dating. There may be things you like in her, and there may be things you necessarily don’t like. Things, especially relationships, don’t always work out. If you are on the fence about continuing your life with her, take some time to truly examine the situation, have a conversation with her, or simply just take some time to weigh things out in your mind. Telling her how you truly feel will either allow her to examine her own conscience, or give her the opportunity to say how she truly feels too.
It sounds like you are outgrowing this relationship, which is very common for people your age.
Look at it this way: You started dating at 14 – basically a child. You couldn’t even drive! Here you are at 18, and can you say you are the same person you were at 14? I hope not. And I promise you, in another four years you will be a completely different person. You’ll have much more life experience, exposed to different people, ideas, books, political beliefs…your 20s are a time when you really start coming into your own (both good and bad).
I think you two have probably grown apart, and you are seeing there is a whole other world out there. Maybe it’s time for both of you to go your separate ways and explore that world.
Good luck OP.