The title. I get all self conscious when I’m with other people. I think whether I said this wrong, or appear in a certain way etc especially when in a situation I’m not familiar with. Also how can I stop internally seeking validation from others. I don’t know if all that relates but here this post is created!
4 comments
Stop caring so much. Relax. Realize nothing matters as much as you think it does, in a good or bad way. You hit a home run, no one cares, you strike out, no one cares. Also, no one is thinking about anything you do or say as much as you are. Realize that and it will help you stop caring as well.
Also, respect yourself more. Stand up straight, realize your opinion is valuable and counts as much as anyone’s. Relaxing will help you respect yourself more. Think dignity. The dignity that you give yourself. Then others will start giving it to you as well.
Life is good. Don’t be so hard on yourself. This short little life we have is an interesting and fascinating one. You will go through periods where you are winning and feeling great and others where it will be a challenge. It is always the challenging ones that help us grow.
Good luck to you.
Just remember this line:
“What people think about you, is actually a projection of their own way of being if they were in that situation. It’s not you, it’s them. Let them be.”
Have belief in yourself that you can do it. That’s it.
As someone who’s been improving on this front: treat your Self as someone you’re ALSO seeking validation from. Your actions don’t just matter to the other people in the room, but also your own self.
For example “Will my future self be comfortable with having done this?”
You can figure out the answer to this question by figuring out your values. For example something like https://www.think2perform.com/values/ though there are a lot of platforms for it.
The more you seek validation from others, they will sense it and be less inclined to validate you. Moreover, people will avoid you. Often times, validation seeking heightens when you are idle in life and got nothing else going on in your life. So you need to start being proactive in life and start doing productive and constructive things and stop being idle. Continue to work on your social skills as well.
Understand this. People validate you on their own when there is actually something to validate about you. That means ypu have good appearance, good social skills, or you are good at something in life, whether it be a skill, talent, hobby, etc. Nobody will validate you when you have nothing to warrant validation and instead actively chase and beg them to validate you. You are probably jealous of people who seemingly get validation from others. I bet you none of these people actively seek validation. Instead, I bet you they are confident and they act and carry themselves in a way such that they exude confidence.
Chase excellence, not validation