What are the reasons why some people don’t have friends?

27 comments

1. We are adults don’t bind well at a work place and don’t have activities with the opportunity to meet new people and make friends.

2. Probably chronically online people who are not only incredibly unlikable in person (and online) but have the social skills of a moldy tomato.

   It’s not hard to make friends with people or connect with people. Works for me easily.

3. You will spend most of your time working.
   Coworkers are not your friends.

   Depending on what you like and where you live, there is just fuck all to do, activity wise, that lets you befriend new people.

   On top of that, it is not that incommon to move every couple of years.

4. A lot of friendships nowadays seem to be built around commonalities and shared interests. Those kinds of friendships are very fragile because it doesn’t take much to ruin them. “omg, you voted for that political party?! This friendship is over!” Dumb shit like that.

   Friendships built around shared history tend to be more stable. When people have known each other since childhood, they’re more likely to stay friends through thick and thin.

5. uninteresting, socially awkward, or just straight up not nice are the most common reasons. folks here gonna blame things like work….nah, if you are an interesting person who is fun to be around you will have friends even if you work in the center of the earth

6. I feel as though I was mostly taken advantage of, used as a punching bag and screwed over out of friendships

   After a while it’s like, with friends like these, who needs friends

7. They’re unpleasant to be around

8. Controlling spouse that fucks up friendships because it threatens their control.

9. I think its just a matter of time. When you are young and stupid and there is tonnes of social pressure to have friends, you forgive a lot of shit or are probably too drunk to notice. When you get older and really assess how your “friends” treated you then you realise. This is why people in middle age plus generally only at best have a few select real friends.

10. They simply don’t want any.

11. Too damn busy with life to be making new commitments or attachments

12. Never learned how to make or be a friend, or they just don’t care about it.

13. After being abandoned or betrayed by some i considered best friends for years, i have developed big trust issues.

14. They understand life.

15. choice or personality in a nutshell

16. They don’t have much in common with other people, so there are no common interests to build a friendship around.

17. Some people are insufferable, or too shy to find themselves some friends.

18. Hell is other people.

19. They are too judgmental. I have friends that I think may poor choices all the time, but it’s their life. As long as their poor choices don’t result in them being put in a situation where they have to ask me for money, I think we’re all good. Now would I help a friend with money who had some unavoidable bad luck? Yes. Would I help a friend with money who decided to quit their well paying job to explore the world on a drug fueled binge? No.

    One more reason is because people take things way to personally. Some people can only make jokes at others expense (even a light ribbing), but can not handle it coming back their way. My friends (both men and women) rip on each other all the time, and everyone is the target at some point.

    I noticed that people who go into certain fields, medical doctors for example, often have a hard time making friends that aren’t in their exact same field. There’s a few reasons for this, 1. many medical students tend to lose most of their pre-medical-school friends in the first year or two, primarily because they can never get away from studying or you moved away, 2. If you haven’t already, you will likely move away for your all-time-consuming residency, 3. Medicine is all you talk about 90% of the time and the only people who can relate to you are other doctors. Combine these factors and you really only wind up with circumstantial work friends. Any free time you have is spent trying to get away from it all.

20. Friendships are something that typically happens in youth, not adulthood. The adult world is purely transactional. The people you work with, meet in social settings, and such are looking for economic/status/informational benefits from their relationship with you. There is no pure friendship in adulthood like kids have.

    As the character Gordon Gekko famously said in the movie *Wall Street*, “If you want a friend, get a dog.”

21. I don’t feel lonely, so life is about protecting my peace.

22. Some are insufferable. Some are too easily taken advantage of and eventually just withdraw from everyone. Some people prefer the solitude. There are as many reasons as there are people.

23. You have to be a good friend to have good friends.

    There’s a belief that interactions should all be transactional and looking out for yourself is paramount. You can’t really be friends with someone like that. You’re business partners at best. You don’t want to be taken advantage of, but at the same time, friendships don’t thrive with score boards. Some openness and vulnerability is required.

24. I have no ‘friends’ but Im very popular at work. People say I make everyone smile / feel good. Im also one of a few thats welcome in all the different ethnic groups which are usually kind of closed if you’re not a member lol.

    Why I dont have friends in my personal life is I find people a bit needy, want to do things, go out places, etc etc and I find it a drag.

    Rather read books or articles or work on my computer. So they give up and find some more fun.

25. Most friends are friends of convenience. You have regular contact in normal everyday life. This means that in adulthood your most common points of contact is at work. And because of work place politics it is risky to make friends at work.

26. They don’t put themselves on positions to make friends. I.e. lack of group hobbies or interest groups involving shared interest in hobbies.

27. 1) Their behavior drives away every one they meet.

    2) Some people have a very low social battery.

    3) They aren’t in a place to make friends.

    4) They don’t know how to make friends yet.