So i met this guy on a dating app and he seemed so sweet and almost too vanilla for my liking. We slept together after a month of talking and meeting. He was so shy to even initiate sex or tell me that he wants it. But when we started having sex, he first spanked me on my butt which is fun for me mostly. Then he spanked my boob which I didn’t love but I didn’t mind it also because I thought he liked it. But then he started slapping me on my face. It did not physically hurt at all because he was not trying to hit me. But the gesture was so disgusting to me that I instantly got shut off and couldn’t continue having sex. My question is that is it really so normal for guys? Because when i told him i hated it he told me he has been asked to do it by his previous partners. I didn’t believe it but that’s what he said. IS IT NORMAL? Did i miss the memo? It was so uncomfortable especially because he seemed too nice to me. Do girls like it?
I stopped talking to him after that.
39 comments
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Dude watches too much porn.
Not normal for this guy.
Impact play should NEVER be done without getting consent in advance.
Is it common for people to enjoy being slapped during sex? Common enough, yeah. Does that make it okay to assume everybody likes it? 100% fuck to the no.
Guys have all kinds of kinks. The key is CONSENT.
If you’re not into it, it doesn’t matter if it’s normal. It’s not ok for him to do it.
If you told him not to and he keeps doing it, then it’s time to dump him and move on.
As a guy I cannot understand why there are so many guys who watch porn and automatically assume 100% of girls will like every fucking thing they see in the video. Jesus Christ is it really so hard to have a conversation with a partner beforehand and ask what they’re ok with
It’s plausible that previous partners have requested him to slap their face, or he could be lying about it. That’s not the point. The point is *even if* his previous partners wanted that, it is never ok to engage in that kind of behavior without establishing consent. You did the right thing by cutting him off
Consent or deal with the consequences. Once had a guy spank me without warning and my dog thought he was attacking me so my dog attacked him. Had I known he was going to do that I would have crated the dog. Never had someone slap my face or boob or even ask so I don’t think it’s normal. I would be upset if a guy thought that was okay without asking first.
>4) LOW EFFORT MATERIAL.
“Does anyone else…?”, “Is [X] normal/weird?”, “Is [y] wrong/bad/okay?”, and so forth. Human sexuality is incredibly varied; yes, someone else likes what you like, and labels like “normal” or “weird” are meaningless – and in a sex positive community, we do not allow any moral judgments against sex acts or behaviors that are consensual.
The question is why the fuck didn’t he talk to you about this before he did it?
Some people love rough sex, degrading stuff, pain, etc. But you don’t assume someone will.
If you guys are young and that previous partner of his was his only or a few sexual relationships then he could think that its normal and part of sex. Tell him you don’t like it and not to do it again and if he’s a sweet dude, he’ll understand and say of course no problem.
youre normal for not liking it and there are also normal girls who like it, whats not normal is him not asking you beforehand
as a woman, i do enjoy getting slapped in the face haha. but it’s ok if you don’t, it isn’t for everyone. but either way he should’ve checked in with you before doing it
So I remember the first time I asked my husband to smack me in the face. It was hilarious. He barely brushed his fingers across my face and I said harder. He looked horrified. Poor guy lol. I personally like things a bit rough. However, I have noticed that there is not a lot of conversation that goes on between people when it comes to this type of thing. Even I probably should have said something to my husband ahead of time (this was obviously awhile ago in our relationship). But had he of said no I wouldn’t have pushed the issue. My husband is now an expert and smacking and choking me. Lol
Guy watches too much porn or he is an idiot that does not reapect yur feelings enough to ask for consent before using impact play on you, red flag.
HELL NO. THIS IS NOT NORMAL. This is the first sign of abuse. Only if BOTH parties consent to BDSM is this ok.
Is it normal that other women like this? Sure. not unheard of.
But it’s not something he should assume you like withiut talking about ot, because someone else did.
There are plenty of fetishes, slapping women is one I don’t get…at least in the face. Even if a girl asked me to do it, I wouldn’t.
He should not have assumed that you like it. There needs to be consent for something like this and I can’t believe he wouldn’t establish that with you before just doing it. Red flag! Impact play can be fun but not everybody likes it. Everyone’s different. I like when my boyfriend slaps my boobs and butt during sex but I would not like the face, either. My boyfriend would never do that unless I asked, and even then, I don’t know if he would slap my face. He was hesitant when I told him to slap my boobs harder the first few times. He looked scared LOL but now he’s used to it.
Overall, you made the right decision to ditch this guy.
It drives my wife crazy. She absolutely loves it. She saw it in a movie we watched one night & wanted to give it a try. I’ve started to enjoy it but it was definitely something I had to get used to.
I think a lot of guys see it as normal. My husband and I had a big issue about this because I lost trust in him after I told him to stop and he did it again (it’s possible I said he could do it lightly, but he accidentally did it stronger than I wanted. And the truth is that I hate it when it’s done lightly too). That was the beginning of our relationship and we worked through it, but it still bothered me even years later. He said all his exes asked for it. I guess there are a lot of women who enjoy it, but I just experience it as the height of disrespect
It takes all kinds of people and not everyone will have the same kinks/preferences. An ex of mine wanted me to giggle as I slapped him. Another ex wanted to be bound with duct tape and have me “beat the shit” out of her (her actual words). I ended each of the relationships shortly thereafter as I cannot physically assault my lover.
Cut him off. Even if simply misguided but well intentioned we can assume this type of person has consumed a plethora of problematic advice about sex and dating and that’s not your problem. Sorry not sorry
There’s nothing wrong with wanting/not wanting to be slapped, but he should’ve asked you first.
In his mind, he probably slapped your ass and thought, “Hmm, she didn’t say no. Maybe she likes it?” Which, in your mind, you did like it.
Then he slapped your boob and again thought, “Hmm, she didn’t say no. Maybe she likes it?” While you thought,”I don’t like that, but maybe he does, so I’ll let him”.
Im not saying AT ALL that he should’ve started and continued to slap you without asking you first, but he may have taken you not asking him to stop as you liking it? Either way, he shouldn’t assume that you would want it just because other women he’s been with did. You aren’t his previous partners, you’re his current partner. He needs to ask consent.
I personally love being slapped on the ass and face, but I tell my husband if it’s a bit too hard and he always listens and does it a bit softer the next time.
That’s legit wild he did that without discussing if you’re into that or not. I can’t fathom of some men think. I’ll sorry that happened to you, it’s not normal to do that without consent and discussing it beforehand.
Some women do like it. My partner likes it, but nothing hard. I felt uncomfortable the first time she asked me to slap her face, but she is into it, and again, it’s not hard at all. I completely understand not being into it.
My husband & I have been fuckin for 5 years. He’s only ever spanked me & choked me, after asking what I liked. He did, one time, barely slap me, like I couldn’t really feel it, & he stopped cos he felt so bad. I think it’s important to know what’s cool to do/try before doing it.
Not respecting your boundaries is never ok
He’s an idiot and didn’t have a discussion or get consent.
🚩🚩🚩
Yes this is very normal in the BDSM/Dom side of sex
Huh…I know plenty of guys that enjoy pegging. Does this mean I can peg this guy without asking seeing as _so many_ guys have asked for it from me?
Not cool unless it was agreed upon beforehand.
He’s been watching to much porn. He should always ask to do any kind of impact play. You need to communicate with him and tell him it’s a no go for you. Make sure you do it before sex is even present.
This is not normal at all. Huge red flag and shows a fundamental lack of communication skills and lack of education or care on what consent is and why it’s a necessity
People should ALWAYS get consent prior to acting out these kinds of acts. It’s important for it to be in a nonsexual and neutral setting for this conversation and to be very clear with boundaries and safe words.
I’m sorry this happened to you OP. I’d run fast and block him
Tell him your previous partner liked you to use a 12-inch strap-on on him. Then ask him if you should assume that he likes what your previous partner liked?!
What ever happened to kissing while fucking?
I’ve never slapped a partners face, nor been asked to. I wouldn’t ever do this unless asked, even then I’d feel super weird about it and probably say no thanks
I really fell like mainstream porn just ruins everything. My ex did this and I had a serious conversation that I did NOT like that, and it wasn’t okay.
If someone did that to me w/o consent, I’d be so fucking done. Wtf
Too much slapping in porn makes dudes think it’s normal and that we all want that or something
My ex slapped me during sex without asking first and then complained that I bit his lip. I did not give consent for mistreatment, my fight or flight kicked in. 🤷♀️