Men of reddit, how do you deal with your toxic parents, always ranting about your mistakes but never mind your help or accomplishments?

15 comments

1. Cut them out of my life.

2. I don’t talk to them.

3. Put them in the bin

4. i would aviod them

5. I cut my abusive narcissist mother out of my life. It’s been a solid five years and I’m loathe to admit I miss her.

   It’s the right choice, but it still sucks.

6. With snide, sarcastic and/or passive aggressive comments which criticize their greatest insecurities

   Flip that shit, Larry!

7. Same way I deal with all the haters, fuck it who cares what they say just do you.

8. It means your accomplishments don’t mean shit if your negatives out weigh them. Nobody gives a fuck if you lettered in band if you got a D minus in math. If you want to impress your parents you have to do better than them in all areas. If your dad was a math wiz’s and mom english wiz. Means you got to do better in both for them to think highly of you.

9. Like everyone has said, cut them loose. Don’t worry about the concept of family, meaning that you MUST stick with them, because in one like yours that’s nothing more than a manipulation tactic. You owe them NOTHING. Family doesn’t mean anything if they’re not your friends.

10. I still love my parents and understand they are only doing what they think is best, which isn’t always the case. Hating them is a big weight I don’t want to carry around so I have a strictly platonic relationship with them and it works great . I keep everything surface level and limit my exposure with them . Always remember , they are *probably* just trying to do their best .

11. You put them in their appropriate place in your life. If you don’t need them then that means you don’t respond as much as they’d like.

12. Get away from them as soon as you can. That crap is bad for your mental health

13. i dont 🙂

14. Set boundaries. If they respect those boundaries, they can be part of my life. If they don’t, they can’t. We’ve had several periods of no contact that lasted a couple of years, but when we are in contact, our relationship is absolutely better than it was when I was young.

15. I have to live with them, but I try to avoid them as much as possible. I know that once I’m able to move away, I won’t ever come back.