Men, what is the deal breaker for you when it comes to committing to a serious relationship?

39 comments

1. Breaking the trust, can’t ever get back from that

2. Personality and their past actions.

3. Promiscuity, breaking trust, emotional baggage or outstanding debt/money problems.

4. All ties with your exes, unless professional or STRICTLY platonic/wellbeing, must be cut. I can almost never commit to any of my previous partners because they still have too many open lines of communication to their previous lover, and I’ve been cheated on twice so now there’s a built in trigger that I simply can’t control. Makes me a little insecure.

   Whether they listen or not is up to them, but I won’t commit to anything serious without that assurance, and I think it’s a perfectly respectable boundary to have.

5. Sexwork, Cheating, Untreated Mental Illness / Addiction.

6. Attitude. I do not want to date a girl who has a natural tendency to steer towards complaining or talking shit about other people. I’m very committed to avoiding negative vibes.

   That’s not to say she can’t have bad days and have stuff to vent about. But if I’m waking up every day with the sentiment that life is a gift and this is another day to be awesome and feel fulfilled, and I find that she doesn’t share this vibe on the regular, I can’t roll with that.

7. Cheating, lack of effort, and lack of trust.

   If I don’t see effort near my own being put in by a partner, or I cannot trust them, both in a sexual way and in a general way, then there’s no way I can honestly commit.

8. Animals cruelty. And I don’t even have a pet.

9. “He’s my BEST FRIEND”

10. Unrealistic expectations.

11. Drugs. Full stop. No exceptions. If you are the type of person that enjoys drugs we can never have a serious relationship.

12. Lying

13. Skat and blood play. Definitely deal breakers for me.

14. Aside from the obvious like infidelity and other just generally relationship killing things, I would never fully commit to someone that was impulsive or high maintenance. They can be fun to be with in short bursts but you can’t build a life with that.

15. Answer: betrayal or indicators of someone who is prone to betrayal

    The best indicator of future behavior is past behavior.

16. That’s a long list and probably why I’m single atm

17. If she has a kid and smoking

18. Women that don’t have hobbies, interests or passions. Just empty people. Without ever having an individual thought or opinion.

    I think this is why people subscribe to ideologies so easily. The less satisfied you are as an individual, the more you will identify with the group.

19. Entrenched beliefs, the inability to question anything, absence of intellectual curiosity.

20. Being a decent human being, effort and compatibility are basic requirements. Lack of any of these would be a dealbreaker for example

21. 1. Lie/cheating
    2. Negative attitude/energy toward world and others
    3. Having many sexual partners
    4. Lack of emotional maturity
    5. Addiction and compulsive behaviors

22. Unfaithfulness. Several ways that can hit but that is/was the end of trust and the relationship.

    And after dating for a bit now, I’m gonna add narcissism.

23. If she has a penis

24. Lack of accountability. If you can’t admit mistakes when you make them, then you’re never going to grow as a person. And I don’t have time for that lol

25. Cheating of course, I cant imagine how some people can forgive cheating. Also when they try to change me or pull away from my hobbies just because shes insecure and wants 100% attention and free time.

26. Trust issues as in breaking trust. And lack of sex

27. If she uses terms like, “bad bitch” “boss bitch” or anything of the likes. It’s such a fucking turn off and implies you’re inconsistent and trashy. I know it’s anecdotal but I’ve never met a self proclaimed “bad bitch” or “boss bitch” that wasn’t completely cringe using some dude from Instagram credit card to get her 6” nails done.

28. Cheating is the deal breaker for My man when it comes to serious relationships.

29. Poor communication and expecting me to always pay for everything.

30. There isn’t one deal breaker. Men (and likely women too) weigh what they get and what they have to give to make a relationship work and don’t move forward with the relationship if what they are getting is worth less than what they would have to give. It’s as simple as that.

31. If she’s a murderer

32. Insecurities. I don’t want to take on the job of trying to convince someone that they are a worthwhile person. I would be fighting against the voice in her head telling her she’s useless because of family of origin issues. Extremely hard to purge hearing the voices of her parents, siblings, etc… Mostly because they were programmed during a developmental part of their life, when you should receive love and encouragement, to think they were stupid, fat, or ugly.

33. Infrequent or unenthusiastic sex.

34. Lack of effort. I dont chase people. But i do put in effort. If i have to drag this ship then im just gonna walk. Let some other fool play tugawar with the Titanic.

35. Cheating, highbody count, children, septum ring, colorful hair, rude(to humans and animals) bossy.

36. I’m 48, single dad of two, been pretty much single since my divorce 7 years ago. In all honesty, I’m pretty set in my single dad ways. There’s not much that would NOT be a deal breaker for a long term relationship at this point…

37. Playing games. If I’m your lover then stop treating me like someone you want to win against.

38. Overly dependent, I had a partner who couldn’t do anything without me. Didn’t make an effort to make friends, although people would want to hang out with her and made me feel guilty for even going to the gym or watching a soccer game with friends.

39. A liar