Hello there, so lI’m going to to cut straight to the story, I’ve had one of those toxic parents, my family has a hatred on us and my sibling for some reason, so i always been emotionally attached to my friends, but still in school and college my friends keeps betraying, bullying and harrassing me, i liked a girl in school in for 3 years but she told me she likes me as a brother and her bestie was in my healing process she told me she isn’t the relationship type but when i changed schools and found out my friend was committed to her, i died, then i took 2 years to process it, then i liked a girl in college, i told her I’m iterested in her and asked her if we can we get to know more about each other, she told ok but she came back to college with a new guy (i tried texting her during the holidays but she didn’t respond, i thought she was having family time ), then i took like 4 months to process then i tried reaching out to people but it didn’t work out so i installed dating apps, i found few people but they weren’t interested, I’m really emotionaly attached, i care about everyone and their feelings, i just want someone to love, is it too much to ask ? And another issues is i need help dealing with low self esteem, virginity is something i wanna loose with my one and only partner but most of them loose it in college itself, i know it’s their life and stuff but i just wanted a girl who also haven’t had any sexual history, but you can’t just choose a partner based on their virginity right, character is the foremost important thing right, soi don’t judge anyone but it still hurts inside the fact that my partner might have not been a virgin, but anyways i ran out of girls on these dating apps, i installed them 4 times and gave thema chance never found my type of person
TLDRR: Just a guy(19) unable to find love while dealing with toxic friends and toxic family, but also dealing with low self esteem and i need help.
2 comments
>i just want someone to love, is it too much to ask
Honestly, yes because from what you described, it sounds like you are looking for someone out of need and that’s not a good foundation for a healthy relationship. Your fixation on virginity also makes me think you are looking to date for the wrong reasons.
I don’t know what your current situation is, but my genuine advice is to work on yourself. If you have the means to attend therapy, then you should 100% see a therapist to deal with your past traumas and self esteem issues.
Following that, you should: cut out the toxic people from your life (yes, even if they are family), develop yourself mentally, emotionally, and professionally, and build a life that genuinely fulfills you and makes you happy. At that point you will be ready to find someone who to add even more value to your life and vice versa, instead of trying to fill some void within you that no human being can fill.
Hit the gym and keep busy with things that will bring value into your life and help you grow, cut out things that don’t and hold you back. Very cliche but here as a reminder in case you lost sight.