Young parents here, still figuring everytning outš when I married my high school sweetheart, I didnāt know I was actually marrying my HIGH SCHOOL sweetheartā¦ as in he sometimes still acts like he did when we were 14.
We are 25 and have a 6 year old, and a 2 year old. First of all he still listens to the same music he listened to in high school, with the kids in the car. And even though I hate rap, I actually donāt mind that. If anything theyāre probably just confused, wondering why their dad, whoās never tried marijuana in his entire life, is listening to songs about smoking weed and killing people š
What is a big deal though is when he talks jokingly around them. They were playing Mario cart with our son and he said ābro what the f*ck is thisā when his guy slipped on a banana.
Thereās a ton of examples of this, but today was a big one. We have a big golf net in our backyard and a ton of foam golf balls and him and our son practice golf outside.
So we have a pretty big backyard, but over the fence are neighbors homes. So he missed a shot and said āman f*ck this ballā and hit it as hard as he could over the fence.
Yeah yeah, I know itās a foam golf ball, and it wonāt actually do anything, but thatās not a great example. He does things like this all the time that would be funny to a 15 year old, not a 25 year old father of 2.
He does do good things, so heās not a horrible example. Neither of us drink alcohol or do anything bad like that, we have our designated āfamily timeā that heās very big on participating in, plus he spends every second he can with me and our kids, so I know Iām lucky to have a good husband, but the way he acts sometimes is a little concerning, because our 6 year old idolizes his dad, and I donāt want him doing that crap!
3 comments
Just tell him when parents don’t let your sons friends come over to your house, or when teachers call meetings about his language or about a kid breaking a window, that he’s the one in charge of going to those meetings and talking to your kid about why his friends aren’t allowed to hang out. Maybe have him go to a pediatrician visit with you and ask the doc about adjusting behavior around your kids- even better if you can call ahead and prepare them that your husband is coming and you’d like some professional backup that swearing and freaking out at a racing game isn’t what you should do in front of kids.
Don’t stress too much though, if he’s a generally positive example who’s good with housekeeping and caring for you he’ll be setting a good example elsewhere
You should talk to him about this. Your son may start cursing and acting out like your husband, so you’ll want to stop this behavior soon
You know what~ my sons are adults now~ but they were raised with music In the car, even some rap , I did and do say fuck. They are responsible, productive, hands on fathers, loyal husbands, 2 of 3 own their own long term successful businesses, 2 believe in God, 1 performed the National Anthem at a giant political event and is active supporter of many charitable organizations. He actually started one in high school, coordinated an event to money for a friends Mom who had cancer. When she didnāt spend it all and told him to give it to someone else who had cancer~ he did, the event in her name that year continues now~ and the money is still paid forward to local cancer patient 15 years later. 1 manages an assisted living home. Recently he showed me good morning messages and video clips to residents , from around the world. Something he thought of on his day off and took to work.Itās now a thing and the elderly make video replies..
Hearing a parent using fuck or shit in frustration isnāt always trauma inducing or life altering. They are words, everyday words. You raise kids as role models in 1000 of ways. What your leaning against here is small minded in comparison to the wider influence of the positives you pointed out.
Jokingly using fuck, they are going to hear it all in school yards and on playgrounds. Teach them how to behave appropriately and accordingly in the real world ~not out of some strangely judgmental,morally superior sense you have of yourself.