What’s a good response to someone saying: ‘you should smile more!’

25 comments

1. Depends on how rebuking you want to be. First thing that comes to my mind ist ‘And you should care more about your own business’ or ‘I am not here for your decoration’. A bit less rebuking would be ‘Maybe I have a reason to not smile’, but be prepared that people might try to argue with you about good reasons to feel bad.

2. “You should be more funny then.” I have no idea why people are trying to dictate your expressions, they should mind their own business!

3. Force a creepy joker smile. Do it every time you see them.

4. Just stare at them without blinking “Wednesday” style

5. “you should mind your own business”

6. “You should say that less”

7. These are more semi-polite shutdowns than real snarky comebacks, but I’ve found that’s more useful if you don’t want to permanently get a reputation with someone for being snappish. They’ll likely still make the other person feel slightly awkward or abashed.

   “No thank you”

   “Please don’t judge my facial expressions.”

   “I try to be honest with my facial expressions” (if you want to be pointed, give them a very unimpressed look at the same time)

   “I don’t know if you realized, but that’s kind of a rude thing to ask someone?”

8. “you should stop telling people to smile”

9. I really like “fuck off”.

10. “You should talk less”

    Or put ‘em on the spot an ask them to tell you a funny joke. They will fumble and try and it will make them feel pretty awkward.

    I used to work at a liquor store and would do this to the old guys who would come in and demand I smile for them.

11. [deleted]

12. You always tell people how they should feel/look or just women?

13. If you left me alone I would

14. My go to is “I am smiling” and not engaging further

15. The last time this happened to me, while passing a middle aged man in the freezer section of a grocery store, I was careful not to change my expression and said “you first” as forcefully and casually as I could. He didn’t know how to react and looked just as shocked as I was.

    But I like the idea of saying something like “my son just died” or “would that turn you on more?”

16. “I have facial nerve damage.”

17. these are some good responses lol. Sometimes a straitfaced ‘why’ is good, too.

    “why”

    “because you would be prettier” or “because you look sad like that”

    “why does that matter”

    “…”

    “ok, but *why do you care though”* or “*but why does that matter”*

18. “I have glass bones and paper skin. Every morning I break my legs and every afternoon I break my arms. At night, I lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep.”

19. Using your middle fingers to prop up a smile.

20. Older men talking to my 14 year old say crap like that. She glares at them after they say it.

21. Last time this happened to me in a grocery store, I had a terrible week and him telling me to smile was… not well timed.

    I looked at him straight in the eyes and very honestly said “I just found out my father is dying.”

    I honestly don’t think I’ve ever seen someone apologize and backtrack that quickly in my life.

22. “Are you my new therapist?”

    “End [insert global issue here] first.”

    “I heard money buys happiness” then stick your hand out.

    “My [blank] just died”

    “Oh shit, I didn’t realize I could just *do* that!” And continue to scowl.

    Or just start saying some Wednesday Addams shit.

    EDIT to add: no one is entitled to your smiling. It’s not about you smiling enough. It’s about people being creepy and gross and uncomfortable that the world is jot a great place and/or they’re incapable of attracting another human.

23. “How long have you been watching me??” And look around highly concerned 😧

24. “you should stop telling people what to do”

25. I’ll never forget the day I found out my friend/coworker committed suicide. I took my break and was hurrying to my car to cry. My job at the time was in the mall so I had to cut through the food court to do this. A random man stopped me and told me I should smile, life isn’t nearly as bad as I thought it was. I looked him dead in the eye and told him my friend just killed himself as the tears started rolling down. I’ll always savor the mortified look on his face.