Hello everyone, I need your advice!
I (23f) met a nice co-worker (25m) today.
I’m an apprentice/ trainee at a health insurence. Today we had two people from distribution who held a generell presentation about our insurance and what benefits it has.
One auf them was the male I found very attractive and want to get in touch with him.
Sadly I only now his age, Name and E-mail he had to leave immediatly after the presentation.
I searched him on social media to look if he has a gf or bf but found nothing. (I would not be surprised if he is in an relationship but I have no way to know.)
The thing is, I’m still an apprentice (finishing my bachelor in 2 years) and he is a full worker with an masters degree.
Also I was just an attendent at his presentation (we were like 5 people). I talked to him a few times and asked a few questions but I have no idea if I left an impression.
Maybe he sees me as an subordinate student and will be weirded out if I reach out to him.
He will see us again just before we finish (in 1-2 years) and will teach us more.
So there is a possibility that there will be weird tension if I get rejected from him.
I also am afraid that, if I write that Email, he will tell anyone and someday I will regret it.
I am actually diagnosed with social anxiety and maybe I think too much of it but maybe not, I can’t tell.
I normally avoid such situations because of my anxiety and I’m very scared now but I actually would be happy to be in a relationship. But maybe this is the wrong way?
When I told one of my co-worker she told me that it would be very weird because I don’t know if he has a gf.
Would it be weird if I write him an Email and tell him that I think he is sympathic and invite him to dinner or something?
(Sorry if my english is bad btw, I’m german)
26 comments
Don’t shit where you eat.
Seriously, if I were him and received an email from a random girl using work email declaring attraction I’d tell you that if you did it again I’d be reporting you for harassment.
Just don’t do it.
Absolutely avoid email or anything with a paper trail.
Do not send a mail like that on a company line. It is traceable and if he files a complaint you can het into big trouble. Maybe wait and if you run into him by chance you can start talking a bit more with him and slowly go from work to more casual talk if the situation allows it.
No, don’t write him an e-mail asking him to dinner. I agree with your co-worker that this would come across as weird and intrusive. What I would do is leave it up to fate. If the two of you should cross paths again (say at another meeting or a trade show, etc.) then you could casually ask him out for drinks or for dinner.
Don’t put personal stuff on a work email. It’s a permanent record and could get you and them in trouble.
Also just because he was nice doesn’t mean he’s interested or a good fit. Try to be friends first for a while before jumping to dating a stranger at your work.
DO NOT PASS GO
I think it’s better to ask him for lunch. Try to be just friendly and if he says yes look for signs of interest during the lunch. The thing is it can be awkward if you express romantic interest and he doesn’t like you back, especially if you do it in writing… It can make you look unprofessional. Just imagine if the roles were reversed how it would look like.
Basically, try to develop a coworker relationship first and look for signs of interest. If you are meant to be it’s going to happen, just stay professional.
Nope. Leave no trace.
Oh dear lord no
Fuck no
No.
Work email ?!?? Hell nooooo…. 🤣
Just no.
That’s inappropriate
Always risky. I’m a large proponent of-don’t shit where you eat. Even if it’s a bit further away from your plate on the table, it’s still next to you.
Do what ever you want but just don’t be surprised when it doesn’t work out and work becomes awkward.
No, that’d leave behind a paper trail , and you being a student and will make an email that much scarrier for him .He might think it’s some sort of trap.
Just talk to him face to face.
I received an email from a coworker once basically asking me out to lunch. It made me super uncomfortable and I felt like I had to avoid him moving forward.
Work is number 1 way people meet romantic interests. Facebook is a close second.
What you do is make sure he knows you have free time. “Nothing to do this weekend.” Or that you have no one to go with to something fun. If he’s single he’ll take the bait
Nope because it will look like harassment. Do it in person or privately in discretion. Be warned office romance is never a good things. Your better off meeting someone in a bar.
Don’t. Do. It. Not good to start something with a coworker or superior but if you must, don’t open with a date invite and do it in person. Just become friends first and see where that goes.
Before sending any email lower the importance, every time my sense of importance is big it leads to failure with women, I think the same applies in your case
No. Dont get involved with coworkers. Date other ways
No definitely not the appropriate way to go about it. If you got to know if him and one thing led to the next but at this point it would just come off as creepy and stalker-like.
If you do write an email maybe get someone to spell check for you before you send it. Bad vocabulary can be a turn off.
No… don’t date co-workers….
No! Do it in person. Less chicken shit (respectable), less evidence in case it goes wrong! Go very light (nothing past wanna go out for coffee after? She will get it) and welcome them to be comfortable to reject you.