Not trying to be insensitive. Just genuinely curious. When you become the life partner to your woman she tends to share e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g. With you whether you like or not. How do you deal with this?

47 comments

  1. I have a perfect excuse. I have really bad tinnitus which I do use as an excuse when I just want to ignore someone. I just say “sorry, my tinnitus is acting up, I didn’t hear you.” Works for work, relationships and most social interactions.

    I can also just focus on the ringing and tune out the rest of the world too.

  2. Start a woodworking project in your garage or shop, that way if she starts getting aggravating you can fire up the planet and drown out the noise. Don’t have a shop or garage? There’s your project right there, start working on that.

  3. I just tune it out while running the script of “yeah, uh huh, hmmm, interesting, that sucks, damn, damn that’s crazy,etc”. I use this on my friends sometimes too. It makes them feel heard as if you are engaged while disengages you from having to listen.

  5. My wife does this with her job. Every little thing that comes up and every complaint the she has- I hear about it. I have to tune most of it out, it drives me crazy. Yeah I know I’m supposed to be supportive and I really try to be but I just can’t deal with hearing about the people she works with. If it’s about her I listen and try to help her if she needs it but when it’s about someone I don’t know and that has no impact on our lives, I’m out.

  7. I straight up ask her if she is venting or want’s advice. If its to vent i grunt and nod once every minute, so she doesn’t realise i have fallen asleep with my eyes open.

  8. Apologize and explain I’m not really in a listening mood right now?

    Otherwise I love hearing her talk.

    Disengaged pretend listening just feels wildly disrespectful.

  9. I tuned it out or offered solutions. She didn’t like either of those options and I thought it was just her. I’ve since learned this is very common and we are supposed to listen.I don’t know how are supposed to do that without going insane lol

  11. Nah not really. I’m still in the honeymoon phase, but my girl doesn’t talk a whole bunch so it’s a lot of me asking her questions actually. when she does get to rambling, i let her go with it cause it doesn’t happen often

  12. I think when it gets to this point you should find someone else to be with.

  14. I always give her 10 minutes where I concentrate on what she says 99% time I tune out because it’s not important or waffle but you have to show some level of effort.

  15. what are these comments? tuning out your partner? i never tune out my boyfriend when he talks. i love listening to him. y’all weird. why are y’all even w your partner if you’re just gonna tune out everything they say? do y’all even care?

  16. Yes. People have to understand that humans tune out sensory stimuli when they become frequent or overwhelming. Your nose stops perceiving certain smells after awhile, pain dulls over time, you get accustomed to repetitive noises, you overlook/ignore familiar sights. It’s just the way life works.

    She’ll do it to you as well. People are only truly paying attention to you if they’re actively showing you that they’re listening.

  17. I try to pay attention to everything she says, I love hearing her talk and share her joy with me, although I must admit it is sometimes hard since I get easily distracted by my thoughts, not only during these situations but in general.

  18. I listen with one ear if wifey just wants to vent, both ears if she wants a *conversation*.

    Talking *to* me is not the same as talking *at* me, and I wish people understood the difference more readily.

  19. My moms like that, I’ll call her, say “hey mom”, and I could be on mute for the next 45 minutes.

    I pay very close attention and ask clarifying questions, so when she’s rambling like “so Gina was talking to bob, who used to work at blah blah, or was it blah? I’m not sure”, I’ll say “wait is this the same bob who had the issue with you about that thing”.

    Her “no no, that’s my old boss, this..anyway hold on that doesn’t matter I lost my train of thought”.

    I do this so much that my mom thinks I’m the one digressing and losing the point, so she cuts out the unnecessary bullshit to get to the fucking point. It’s VERY effective. Fire with fire.

  20. There’s a reason men lose the ability to hear high-pitched voices as they get older. Not everything about aging is bad.

  22. >Do you tune out your woman when she talks too much/annoys you, etc.?

    No

    Listen and try to understand where she’s coming from, or lose her to someone who will do these things.

    Best of luck.

  24. Yep, I ask her how her day has been and she actually tells me! I usually tune out after the first 10 minutes.

    If she asks me, all she generally gets is “it was alright”

  26. Yes 100% I don’t interrupt because I feel she needs to get it out anyway.

  27. For me it isn’t really if she annoys me so much as if she’s trying to have a conversation about something I really don’t care about while I’m focusing on something else. She seems to subconsciously have this idea that I should be interested in all the things she’s interested in so she’ll be bothered by me not being particularly excited about some animal on TikTok or some clothes,decor etc that she’s really into. She even gets annoyed if we don’t like the same foods or tv shows etc . So yeah I am guilty of sometimes tuning her out while I’m doing something on the phone I have more interest in or when she tries to have a conversation while we are watching TV etc. I suppose I should have an adult conversation with her instead of responding by tuning her out but I’m also a bit apprehensive about how hearing my perspective would be received on her end.

    Lol from my perspective I think she’s doing something that I definitely wouldn’t do. Like I don’t get upset when she pays more attention to cute animals she’s watching on Instagram when I’m boring her with a conversation about building science or how a piece of machinery is designed etc . In fact it is common for her to interrupt me mid sentence to share if she comes across something on her feed that she gets excited about whereas I only share if it’s something I know she’ll like.

  28. No, if my partner annoyed me just by talking, we wouldn’t have lasted this long together.

    Obviously, not everything is massively interesting to me. I truly don’t care what her co-workers are getting up to, but I like hearing my partner talk.

  29. It really depends on the subject. I am a very good listener. It’s something I pride myself on and my wife tells me I am quite often.

    But if it’s a half hour story about one time, when you were 8, your grandma accidentally got the spicy fish taco? But first I need to know 14 things about the other 4 people there or it won’t make sense? And two of them have just the cutest little girls? But you think the other peoples boy is unruly sometimes?…

    Yeah. It happens.

  30. The other day my girlfriend shared her daily routine before having children and I literally almost fell asleep. It went like “I would wake up, make coffee, run upstairs to put the water on for a shower, come back to get my coffee, go back up to drink my coffee in the shower…” I wanted to drown in a puddle instead of listening to the mundane aspects of a morning routine.
    And then she will say that I don’t share enough.

  31. No way man. My wife is literally my best friend. I honestly try my best to listen and absorb everything when she talks about her day to day stuff.

  32. No, I listen to everything because I care about what she has to say.

    If she’s talking shit, venting or clearly in the wrong I just stay quiet lol

  34. Yes i think girls talks too much only to someone she love and have trust.She try to tell everything,what she going through blahh blahh…

  35. Well, I think most people talk too much. Most don’t listen enough. So, I generally don’t associate with people/women who talk a lot. She annoys you as well? You need to find someone else. End of story.

  37. The biggest problem I tend to have is my mind works logical. Or atleast I think so, when I hear someone talking about a problem I immediately look for a solution that’s how my brain works. Altho not every conversation or problem needs an solution. Sometimes the person needs to vent and it can be hard to distinguish.

  38. My approach:

    1. I don’t date women I find annoying in the first place.
    2. I date women who are emotionally stable enough to be okay with me saying “I just need time to decompress right now.”

  39. Started to ignore some unimportant bits

    Realized 50% of the convo was uninteresting bits

    Realized almost nothing interesting was said ever.

    Fell out of love lol.

  40. In text I just try and move on to something else if I’m getting tired of it.

    But when I’m with her in person I do my best to remain supportive, and if I’m really done hearing about it I won’t push the conversation further than it needs to go. I’m her boyfriend not her therapist.

  43. I’ll tone out pointless stuff like complaining just to complain I’ll also tone out lunges for potential petty arguments it’s not worth the time or energy to pay attention to small problems that will go no where if I brought attention to it

  44. I don’t. I enjoy listening to people I love talk. Whether it’s my father, grandmother, or girlfriend. I think if you can’t stand listening to your partner talk there’s one of three things happening: 1) you’re a terrible listener, 2) she’s a horrible talker (you know the type to have to tell you five different stories to tell you one main story? Yeah that’s painful to listen to), or 3) you two just aren’t compatible.

    Listening to your partner talk shouldn’t be a chore unless you’re exhausted.

  45. My gf is a serial talker. Sometimes she starts talking and won’t stop for 40 minutes, I’m not kidding.

    Sometimes I do tell her to slow down when I’m doing something else. That also tends to happen on the few occasions when I sit down to play videogames, wonder why..

    She also tends to interrupt other ppl when they’re talking, which is quite annoying ngl.

  46. I listen to her. Every time, every minute and each second. I am usually not annoyed but when I am I feed her/look at her lovingly/change the topic and ask about it later.

  47. I listen to everything she says. I’ve zoned out before but snap back and ask her to repeat something. It’s usually less about what she’s saying isn’t interesting, I’m just stressed about something else. I respect her, so I listen to her.

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