For context, I believe in God. I just don’t follow traditional Christianity and practice a more esoteric and occult way of life. He is agnostic, not really sure of a higher power, and follows no religion whatsoever.
How would you deal with a partner that asks you to give up your spiritual beliefs because they think you’re “devil worshipping”? He’s the love of my life and it’s coming from a place of care but when I tried to explain how my spirituality works and what I believe in he immediately dismisses me. He accuses me of being schizophrenic and feels like he has to “save me” from this lifestyle. When in reality this lifestyle saved me and lifted me up everytime he hurt me in the past. But now that we’ve been having talks about us becoming serious he blames my anxiety on my spiritual beliefs instead of addressing his dismissive and avoidant behavior which I’ve told him hurts me but he deflects.
Tldr: bf calls my spiritual beliefs nonsense and blames our relationship problems on them but won’t address his own dismissive behavior.
38 comments
“That which is asserted without evidence can be dismissed without evidence.”
You don’t date them.
Do not stay with someone who tries to change you.
> How would you deal with a partner that asks you to give up your spiritual beliefs because they think you’re “devil worshipping”?
You don’t, you have obvious incompatibilities.
> He’s the love of my life and it’s coming from a place of care but when I tried to explain how my spirituality works and what I believe in he immediately dismisses me.
Don’t try and push your beliefs onto somebody else
> He accuses me of being schizophrenic and feels like he has to “save me” from this lifestyle.
Weird
> bf calls my spiritual beliefs nonsense and blames our relationship problems on them
Both are probably fair
> but won’t address his own dismissive behavior.
What do you expect? He doesn’t believe, and doesnt have any interest in hearing about your religion.
The two of you are obviously incompatible, you need to find somebody else that believes in whatever brand of religion you believe in, or find a relationship where you never discuss religion.
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Well , one can say it’s collective karma making a comeback lolz , believers once did the same to pagans across Europe , Americas , Australia , indian subcontinent and now it’s the other way round,
And him being dismissive of your lifestyle is one thing and him asking you to change it another.
Regardless, what’s bad is bad , two wrongs don’t make one right , if you feel like your way of living is more valuable than your relationship then make the hard choice , in fact it shouldn’t be a hard choice in the first place if your priority’s clear!
P.S. i believe believers have their own vulnerability, all yoh need to do is attack their already feeble belief and see them act out of insanity. Their strengths include going to extreme ends to validate their beliefs , be it building the pyramids or be it braving some next level torture they’re very hard to break .
God. Family/human relations. Country. In that order. Unless you’re anarchist in which your life is far simpler to figure out. God is always first.
> He is agnostic, not really sure of a higher power, and follows no religion whatsoever.
But he calls your belief “devil worship” and he wants to “save” you? Sounds like normal toxic christian bs.
> he immediately dismisses me
> He accuses me of being schizophrenic
> this lifestyle saved me and lifted me up everytime he hurt me
> he blames my anxiety on my spiritual beliefs instead of addressing his dismissive and avoidant behavior
> I’ve told him hurts me but he deflects.
I see a definite trend here.
He’s agnostic but thinks you’re devil worshipping?
If he really cares and loves you you’re religion or beliefs shouldn’t matter luv in all honesty his love is suppose too be bigger then that and being in a relationship is about having a balance and coming to a common ground and compromise together and the dismissiveness is very disrespectful you don’t do that to someone you love w.e. Issues your having with your partner you should be able too listen too each other and TOGETHER come 🆙 with a solution it’s a relationship which is a team effort it takes two hope this helps lovely ☺️🫶🏾&✌🏾 later
I think people with different beliefs can work out…. but not when one is trying to force their beliefs on the other. Narrow minded people who disrespect other people’s belief gross me tf out. Like there are billions of people in the world with billions of different opinions, experiences, perspectives and they think THEIR “truth” is superior??
It is completely DISGUSTING how he’s implying you have a serious mental disorder for not being on his path. You need to break up with this gross person. He’s gross.
The love of your life thinks you are a schizophrenic devil worshiper?
Um….time to redefine what you are looking for in a partner…..
Doesn’t seem like the 2 of you are compatible.
I had an ex that was an atheist and honestly when you want it to work it does, but when you need it to work is when those differences really start pulling apart the glue.
You want to pray for a friend, they want you to stop because it’s not their belief system.
You aren’t compatible. Leave it where it is and move forward.
I’m quite religious and still would never ask someone to change their religion for the sake of our relationship. A person will be the way they want to be and if you can’t accept them for the way they are, you’re not going to have a decent relationship. You need to say goodbye and walk away.
I hate that people make religion a deal breaker. I also believe in a higher power (I grew up a Christian and now I don’t necessarily follow traditional practices but I still carry the ideology in a monotheistic way. My girlfriend of now 2 years does not believe in the Christian god and she follows different spiritual practices even tho she no longer practices Christianity the way she did when she was younger. We both have an understanding of our beliefs and ideologies and we allow ourselves to be open to the fact that the concept of religion or any spiritual belief all pretty much falls under the same umbrella.. the concept of most religions is all close to the same,, and no religion is true or false, to each their own. I don’t believe that having differing beliefs should be a deal breaker or a consistent problem in a relationship, and if it is then your morals are different and you should rethink being with a person who is closed minded and/or not accepting of who you are. As long as neither one of you is forcing your beliefs onto the other, it shouldn’t be an issue
If you don’t want to, break off the relationship. Chances are you will find someone better through your church.
he’s agnostic but believes in the devil enough to think you’re worshiping the devil? that’s weird.
also, your spirituality is yours and for someone to have the audacity to “save you” WHILE SAYING THEY DONT BELIEVE IN ANYTHING is absurd!
you believe in god but aren’t christian, MANY people are like that and don’t fit in that christian box. if he cannot comprehend that, then y’all aren’t a good match.
morals , ethics , and values need to align SOMEWHAT for a relationship to thrive. if y’all disagree on something serious it needs to be a “agree to disagree” situation, he’s trying to change and control a big part of you. that’s not okay.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. But I don’t think this relationship is a good fit for you. Someone who loves you wouldn’t just dismiss something as important as your beliefs even if they disagree completely. My ex and I had very different religious views and it’s one of the reasons we didn’t work out— but it was always a healthy conversation that didn’t include insults or dismissing one another’s beliefs.
I understand that your bf probably does have some great qualities and reasons for you to like him. But asking if you are schizophrenic because you believe in God, is so below the belt no matter the context. That comment shows the clear disrespect he not only has for your beliefs, but for you as well. I would NEVER bash something my partner held importance to unless it was morally injust. And depending on where you live, I’d assume you have full right to believe in whatever religion you may please. I understand that some will never understand God or want to follow His faith, but to completely dismiss it and even make you feel as though you are doing something wrong by standing by God. I am truly shocked that someone who says they love/ care about you, would do something like this and act noble because of it. This is a huge red flag of controlling and degrading behaviour. It starts with your religion, and he will continue to pick at areas of your life he doesn’t agree with.
On a genuine note, I pray that God gives you some strength to do whatever you feel is in your best interest. I also hope he is putting his hand over your bf because clearly he is hurting if he holds the hatred to bash someone he doesn’t even believe in. Just always know that people come and go, but God and the Holy Spirit are always within you, guiding you along your journey.
He is not the love of your life if your own beliefs are not respected.
This is not about your belief, but more of finding ways to control you. Being dismissive, calling you schizophrenic by having other belief than him, wanting to save you… it’s more a manipulative move as a narcissist will do, than someone coming from a place of care. He is making sure that you know that “you” are the problem.
You deserve better, you deserve someone who will understand where you are coming from and respect your beliefs. 🤍
Find someone who shares your same religious beliefs.
I’ve never cared about my girls beliefs as long as they weren’t satanic. Since he cares it sounds like he wants to go further in the relationship so its either sink or swim. If you really can’t go without him then you’ll change, if you a strong in your belief then move on from him.
I do not suggest changing religious beliefs for anyone every my 2 cents.
The Power of Christ Compels You
if what you say is true, he a bit nuts
I firmly believe if you don’t share the same or at least similar religious and political views you should not be in a long-term relationship with them.
I grew up in a household where my dad was very Catholic and Republican, and my mother was traumatized by the church and very Democratic. These differences caused them to not address very important questions with us as kids, and eventually destroyed the whole family.
If you decide to have kids, this disagreement will probably end the relationship.
I would recommend finding someone else.
I would laugh and leave… please respect yourself and have higher standards
How can the love of your life be so dismissive of you? That makes no sense
As a pure atheist who believes in science I just don’t date real believers (if they say they believe in a god but not seriously and never go to church or try to change you that’s OK) because a relationship could never last with such different beliefs, they’d sooner or later try to convert me because of hell or other bs, so if you can’t find common ground it’s best to end it imo
There’s no reason for you to make yourself miserable by being around someone like that. Just keep in mind that the issue is he doesn’t respect you, not his specific beliefs (or lack of beliefs).
As in, I’m an atheist, a pretty firm one at that – but my boyfriend isn’t. Because we respect each other, it causes no problems at all. We can talk about our beliefs without insulting each other or making the other feel invalidated.
Iron sharpens iron. Being with someone that holds the same beliefs further solidifies them. Certainly doesn’t mean you can’t be with them but if you want someone who holds the same values and validates them then that might be a problem.
I am also agnostic, but I come from another background. I was abused by the church for years before my faith shattered. I sometimes miss the person I was, but that was a weaker person. I do not, as a matter of principle, date people of regular religious observance, specifically for this reason; it is not my place to tell you your faith is stupid, misguided, or otherwise wrong. To do so is to cause a harm unto others that I cannot bear.
I’ll tear down churches all day long with my criticism, but the attendees aren’t guilty of the organization’s crimes, and that’s all I have to say about that.
I’m sorry you’re going through a rough patch, little one. I would stand firm on your beliefs. Your partner can respect you, or he can leave, but that’s his decision.
Reveal this heresy to the masses and purge yourself of this corrupting blight
You have incompatible epistemologies. Break up
Why does he believe in the devil if he’s agnostic
So, the huge issue is that he is demanding this, and shows zero respect for you. You have a boyfriend problem
You need to choose…Now !! Not Later !! You know this !! You are
” unequally yoked ” according to God. This man will lead you back to a ” Worldly living ” situation where you become dependent not on God but upon the approval of a world system designed by Satan. He is a cancer on your journey. Cut him out now !! I know love is crazy but you need to worry about your salvation.Dave Hill, Los Angeles
He doesn’t care that much about you if he can’t accept your beliefs. He’s essentially asking you to change who you are and who you’ve become. That is not the guy for you.
I think… unless he changes this dismissive attitude (and Googles the definition of agnostic), it might be a good idea to reevaluate this relationship. Even if he has concerns about religious differences, it’s not an excuse to be so disrespectful and downright mean, especially if he claims to love you. I dunno. Maybe it’s just me, but if I truly loved my partner, I would not be calling them a schizophrenic devil worshipper.
I’ve had a lot of people tell me extremely nasty and hurtful things under the guise of “oh I’m doing this out of love and care”, but to me, the intention doesn’t justify the means. There are ways to communicate concerns without hurting the other person’s feelings.