Not sure what to do. Every girl friend (mid 20s) I’ve (23, f) had in the past 2 years has only talked about a guy they’re talking to or sleeping with. Thats ALL they talk about. I try to engage with them and be supportive and seem interested but it gets old after awhile. I am in a 4 year relationship- I am not jealous. Just annoyed because I feel there’s other things to talk about and the boy talk is excessive, it’s literally all they will talk about.
My one friend who I met a few months ago had recently becomed involved with this guy who lives with his ex still and doesn’t seem the most stable. She has been hanging out with him quite a bit (most days and calling every night) and it’s all she’s been talking about ever since she met him. It’s driving me crazy.
Has anyone else dealt with this? Is this just a thing with my age group? How do I deal with it?
Tldr; the friends I’ve had in the last several years only talk about the men in their lives (hookups/talking). It gets to a point where that is 90% what we discuss on a daily. It’s driving me crazy. What do I do?
2 comments
Get new friends. I dealt with this a ton in high school, I really struggled to make friends because all they talked about was boys. I’m surprised to see it outside of highschool but age doesn’t always equal maturity.
So yeah, distance yourself, find new friends. I mean, easier said than done of course but there isn’t much else you can do.
If there is ONE thing I learned in life that took WAAAAY too long, it’s that you can’t change group dynamics.
At the end of the day, I realized it was literally all about me. 1) I want them to change for me… I rationalized that it would be better for them and more intellectual to change, so they should – but no, it’s all about me.
2) insecurity, I thought no one else will like me and I don’t want to be lonely. This will have to do and I will just suffer.
3) relentlessly trying to change them with all sorts of things. But ALL it did was breed resentment.
4) I was just too fucking lazy. I didn’t wanna join new groups or activities or expand my horizons. Didn’t want to make an effort to meet someone.
But when I stopped and took action. Holy fucking shit did my life ever change for the better when I hung around people who lofted and inspired me. You don’t realize how much people affect you until you get around driven ones.
So ya. Either sit and deal with it and join in on the talk or leave. All you will do is breed resentment in yourself and them and continue to vent on forums like these.