Recently connected with a girl and she is very into me. I have met several people like her before – heart on their sleeve, very loving to all (friends and family), bubbly and straightforward.
She has been very into me. Saying how excited she is to meet me, subtly hinting at the future, saying “you just get me”, complimenting me a lot. There has definitely been a spark and good chemistry, and she definitely seems discerning of whom she picks as a partner overall.
I definitely am on guard here, but I feel like this behavior can be attributed to someone’s personality to some degree, even though it is a technique used by abusers.
Any thoughts? Is it ALWAYS a red flag?
4 comments
There’s a huge difference between being excited about somebody knew who seems to be a good match for you and love bombing. Love bombing is some thing that people with narcissistic personality do. It follows pretty unique patters that are different from enthusiastic attraction.
You should go read specifically about love bombing and see if it fits things that she says. If she’s saying she sees a future with you that’s different than future faking where she’s talking about taking you to her cousins wedding in the fall, or what your babies would look like, that stuff is NPD type of love bombing. Saying stuff like “I am so excited to see you this weekend.” Is not
You’re the guy. Temper her down, set the pace. Imagine you’re running a marathon and run full speed at the start. Sounds like she is excited to be around you, which is a requirement to anything or anyone I allow in my life personally, so just go from there.
If she turns abusive, never match the energy and never yell. Get rid of her immediately. Thats the trick. Stop trying to work something out. If a girl becomes verbally abusive or physically tries to hit you get her completely out of your life.
Yes, because you don’t know what love bombing actually is.
You’re confusing, like many people in this sub, an excessive display of affection with actual love bombing.
The definition of love bombing is very clear: it’s an excessive display of affection **in order to manipulate you into doing things you wouldn’t have done otherwise**.
By definition, you can only determine if a behavior is love bombing after the fact, not before. But then, you know this person tends to love bomb and you can make a decision about what to do next.
So yes, love bombing is manipulation and it is always bad.
“Love bombing” is a description of a behavior designed to manipulate someone into a false sense of security and affection.
It’s not “love bombing” if it’s normal affection, healthy attraction, or just their personality. The thing that makes it toxic is that it’s fake and meant to manipulate.