I’ve struggled with hearing this when it came to the 2 romantic relationships that I’ve valued the most in my dating life and I don’t know what’s wrong with me.
It’s confusing because these are some things I tried to do to maintain the relationship:
1. Message my partner goodmorning almost everyday. Usually it’s when I feel like it, because I don’t want to sound like an automated robot, Or after a date night to check up, or make new plans.
2. Plan dates and vacations. My most recent relationship that ended in break up went like this. We never ended up going on vacations because we were only 2 months in and trying to focus on building our careers, our future, and dealing with some unemployment, but we did go out to eat and have a good time.
3. Sex. It’s not everything in a relationship but they were openly sexual and I wanted to be communicative and look for what pleases them the most.
4. Try to be open minded and non judgemental. But I can’t always do this. I’m kind of immature still at 22 but I do try to be as honest as possible without being an asshole.
I’d also like to add I struggle with anxiety and I need time to myself occasionally to gather my thoughts. I did not yet communicate this to my partner because I was not yet ready to be that vulnerable at the time and I feel like this may have contributed.
TL;DR : honestly idk how to summarize this
1 comment
Without knowing more, my best bet is there’s a lack of romance.
Dates and vacations and sex are all good, sure, but there’s a *way* of going about things.
Planning little secrets and micro treats. Showing affection in small, or not so small, ways. Small surprises and gifts occasionally. Heartfelt words and notes. Compliments. Massages and footrubs. *Romance*.
I have only had one relationship where I felt unseen and ignored, and it was a relationship devoid of romance. We spent a lot of time together superficially, but all the time spent was either platonic or sexual, with very little cute, romantic interludes.