I read the stories in this subreddit about folks who have been single for sometimes as much as a decade.
After my long six year relationship ended, I have had to confront all the issues surrounding dating in the modern day. I’ve had other dry spells in my life but the way these dating apps have pay walled everything, how its almost going against social norms to ask people out outside of dating apps, the sheer lack of viable people to start a relationship, the culture of dating in the modern etc. Its like staring into an abyss. Its seems like I am to weird, niche, and eccentric to be seen as an attractive candidate for almost everyone.
I have to keep weathering the storm and keep trying if I want any kind of relationship. I know this. But the whole process is not fun and gives me psychic damage.
Honestly. I regret having any desire for companionship at all. I want that part of my brain to be lobotomized.
14 comments
It’s a scary feeling that you can do everything “right” while looking for a partner and not getting the result you want. I wish I could give you some advice but the only one I can give you is keep going and take care of your mental health.
Start with learning to enjoy life without relationship. It’s first step. Relationships may or may not come later.
Being single for more than a decade isn’t all that bad. Sure it’s a bit lonely sometimes, but you get to keep all your money.
I know how you feel. Dating is absolutely terrible now. My last official “long” relationship was 7 years ago (and only lasted about 8 months). What someone else commented: learn to enjoy/live life by yourself. Get so busy you won’t have time to be focused on that fear. I guess what will make it harder is if you’re not within the societal beauty norms (I’ve noticed this for myself at least) but in any case you’ll be able to survive on your own.
I went almost 10 years single, still there now. It stops hurting after awhile, then starts feeling good. Once in awhile it hits me “damn, I’m alone” but it passes and things are alright!
I’ve been single all 32 years of my life. People who can’t be single creep me out
Dunno if this is better or worse than falling in love wish someone you can never have.
I’m in the same boat. I went five years without a relationship, then I got into online dating and had a situationship for about 2 months that crashed and burned. The weeks after that, I felt this need and wanting for a relationship that it started to take up all my time. I paid for a dating app, went on dates athat went nowhere and got ghosted more than I could count. After all that, I took a good long look in the mirror and said I don’t want my life to be about finding a relationship. I think we tend to think of relationships as things we should have, especially the older we get. We see all these so-called happy couples on social media, and then we feel bad because we don’t have that, and then we bring ourselves down because we don’t think we’re good enough. Long story short, I haven’t given up on a relationship. I’ve just given up on looking for one if that makes sense. I’m trying to do things that I like and that make me happy, like finding new hobbies or going to new experiences. I figure if I go out and do things I’m interested in, maybe eventually I could meet someone with similar interests, if not I’m doing things I like. I hope this makes sense and helps.
I took like a 6 year break from dating and am back out there doing fine.
There’s nothing wrong with needing a break and focusing on yourself. You can focus on building other strong relationships that are more meaningful like friends & family.
Your fear is what’s going to keep you single.
Be alone for a bit, you are your best company, once you’re okay with being alone then you’re ready for a healthy relationship because you can be ready to cut toxic people from your life.
Being single is a choice, if you choose to be with someone just do your diligent work, people tell me that am picky, I have no time for games or headaches, my guard is up for my red flags… 52 single, never married, no kids y feel like a wild mustang that it is going to take a special lady tame me down😛😜🤪😁
Just ask somebody out Jesus
What do you live In a box