When it comes to dating and you say you have ‘high standards’; what specifically does that mean?

17 comments

1. [removed]

2. A lot of my specific standards wouldn’t really apply to most people, because I was looking for sexually submissive guys.

   But some of the more general things that I was looking for were guys who:

   Could write with reasonably good spelling and grammar

   Didn’t always give one word answers

   Were respectful

   Would do small, considerate things like slowing down their pace to match my shorter stride

   Didn’t seem like they were just trying to use me to get off

3. It could mean a lot of different things depending on the woman. Like originally when I was dating I was looking for a guy who was pretty much stable I’m looking for something long-term not a guy who’s gonna waste my time.

4. [removed]

5. I had high standards when I was dating. Specifically, I wanted someone who was mature, intelligent, kind, treated me with respect, interesting, someone I could easily talk to, someone I felt strongly for, someone who shared my values, and someone who was attractive. I wasn’t going to settle for anything less and I didn’t. I got to know plenty of guys, went on plenty of dates, but no one besides my husband had all of those qualities. The other guys had some of them but not every single one. I see a lot of people today settle for less than they deserve or want simply for the sake of not being alone. Being single sucks, but I’d rather have my high standards than be stuck with some guy I’d have a subpar relationship with. To me, high standards means you know what you want and you have standards rooted in values (not superficial stuff like ‘he must be able to repair stuff… like how does that matter in a long term relationship?? Lol), and ultimately you won’t compromise on those standards for a less-than relationship.

6. Really only regarding the way they treat me

7. i’m gonna put two kinds, my mom’s standards for someone she wants for me, then for myself

   my mom says this is what i should be looking for:

   – stable, good job
   – makes more money than me
   – is good with money
   – respectful to women and elderly
   – looks shouldn’t matter
   – someone go isn’t quiet bc she thinks they’re secretive (i know, lol)
   – someone close to our culture, so anyone asian (we’re filipino)

   my standards:

   – tall
   – funny
   – i don’t mind if he’s a bit older than me
   – financially stable
   – respectful and considerate
   – understanding
   – patient
   – someone who can guide me

   so yea, that is it

8. It means I don’t play games and I don’t put up with bullshit

9. It means you want or expect a lot from that person

10. Mostly, I’m not interested in silly “hard to get” shenanigans and I’m not going to entertain anyone who goes against my morals. I’m leftist, irreligious, educated, don’t want children, and am not really interested in a partner who doesn’t share the same views.

    Somehow, even living in Alabama, it worked out and I found someone 👍

11. In no particular order: (1) Empathy (2) Kindness (3) Intelligence (4) Able and willing to put in effort in the long run (in communication, basic living habits, etc.) (5) Stable

12. Mines were:
    – hard working/ and or stable career
    – honest and straightforward
    – loyal/ respectful
    – understands that I will not be a caretaker and do all his shit for him
    – taller than me
    – shares the same sense of humor
    – patient
    – doesn’t push his religious beliefs on me if he has any
    – wants to get married someday
    – doesn’t drink or party heavily, no gambling and no smoking

    Pretty hard to find someone who would meet all of these, though my current partner does.

13. I’m a very open minded and understanding person so I feel like my idea of high standards doesn’t always match other people’s (ex. Height, weight, salary, etc.) but here we go.

    – Has goals in life. They don’t t need to be crazy ambitious but has an idea of where they want to go and is actively working toward something. I cannot handle lazy.
    – Independent and responsible
    – Shows that they are interested in me and respects me. Make me feel bad about myself once or treat me poorly and I’m done
    – Good hygeine
    – Communicative and honest
    – Has a sense of humor and knows when to relax, doesn’t take life too seriously
    – Non-judgemental

14. I think we’re talking about how we want the person we date, we make expectations that this person have to be respectful, smart, funny and caring but the perfect man doesn’t exist so we should just choose carefully on what the people we meet can offer us.

15. I have incredibly high standards for myself, so the same qualities I can offer someone, I look for.

    -passionate about something/something’s. There should be something that excites you, no matter what that is.

    -Honesty, this one is NOT a compromise anymore. I will not date or continue a relationship with someone who cannot be honest. No exceptions, you lie to me I fucking walk.

    -Communication skills, this could be conversation, working through problems, or likes/dislikes.

    -The ability to laugh. It’s cool if your sense of humor is different from mine, just have one.

    -The ability to learn. You would be surprised how many people close off their mind to new experiences and knowledge. I’ve met young people set in their ways, and older people with a deep love of collecting knowledge.

    There’s also a lot that don’t matter in the slightest to me. Height, weight, sexual orientation, gender identity, race, religion, parent status.

16. maybe my “high” standards were just basic but they were basically just

    •emotional availability + emotional stability
    •steady employment
    •financial literacy
    •a working car and valid license
    •consistent self care including hygiene + mental health
    •taller than me (5’4)

17. Means she has a set of dealbreaker criteria that she feels are pretty rare. Me, I don’t give a shit what you look like so long as your hygiene’s decent enough not to endanger your job, but the first sign that you’re one of those people that either A) can’t humble themselves enough to consider an unfamiliar perspective or B) post-rationalizes their actions to the extent of frequent memory editing, and we are SO done.